This week I asked my boys if they were a fruit tree what kind of fruit tree would they be? “Dragonfruit!” said my 13 (almost 14) year old, and “Banana!” said my 10 year old. Exotic kids. And surprising answers that matched them perfectly. One unique, different, unusual, and the other practical, helpful and consistent.
The children are moving up in the world. This week the older boy got “promoted” from 8th grade to “Freshman!” The younger boy finished 4th grade and has one year left of Elementary School. Where have my babies gone? I spent a lot of time this week praying for my boys and the future God has for them. Not just that they would be good and obedient, though some days my prayers are like that. But rather that they would know and trust Him the way I do. Scratch that… I pray that they would know and trust Him better than I do.
May our sons in their youth
be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars
cut for the structure of a palace;
Psalm 144:12
I came across this little set of verses in the Psalms one day a month or so ago and it really struck a chord with me. What a bold prayer. It gave me a little heart check. It made me stop and ask myself “what do I pray for my kids?” As a worried mom I often just white knuckle my way with prayers like “let them be good, and not screw up their lives and not get on drugs and not find porn on the internet and not have sex till they’re married.” (No pressure kids…)
This Psalm gives us a hint of what God wants for our children and what he desires us to pray for them. In many places the bible speaks highly of the faith of children. Our kids can be mature believers in Christ but it’s the same process we go through. Growing like plants, which we’ll look at today, and cut into shape like pillars, which we’ll learn about in the next post.
It takes three things to bring a seedling to fruit bearing maturity. Roots in the water, leaves in the light and air, and pruning. So many verses compare believers to plants. Let’s look at a couple of them in light of our kids.
Roots in the Water – The Word
Scripture compares itself to water. It washes us, quenches our thirst, nourishes us. God provided miracle water for the children of Israel in the desert then Jesus offered himself to us as living water. We are baptised in water as an outward symbol of faith in Jesus.
Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3
Science tells us the human body is up to 75% water and when we don’t drink enough we dehydrate. If the dehydration is bad enough our body systems start shutting down and eventually we die. It is the most necessary element for life.
Our children depend on us for physical food and water, which we happily provide for them a few times every day. We are called as parents to minister to our children’s spiritual needs as well. We must be nourishing our children with the water of the word every day. For little ones this could be simply reading a small story out of an illustrated children’s bible. When our kids were little our favorite was “The Jesus Storybook Bible” by Sally Lloyd-Jones.
Now that my kids are older my 13 year old reads the bible to me and our 10 year old during our morning drive to school. We’ve read through and memorized a few different Psalms and we’re currently reading the Gospel of John. Just a few verses a day is enough to open up amazing discussions about the Gospel, who God is and what he has done for us. It helps us tie scripture to our daily lives and activities. This is how we root our kids in the Gospel for a lifetime of loving God and loving others.
Of course we haven’t always done this perfectly. We work full time and have a lot of things going on like I’m sure you all do. When kids are very little it’s hard to make the bible a priority. I remember days as a young mom when I was lucky to get a shower and a hot meal, much less a few minutes in the word. If this is your season with very little kids and babies give yourself some grace. The Holy Spirit knows your heart. Throw on some praise music. Pray for small opportunities to work the word into your lives and then be ready to pounce when you see one.
Leaves in the Sun and Air – Prayer
We don’t just listen to God. He loves us so much he actually listens to us. The leaves of trees don’t only take in sunlight but they breathe like we do. They filter out carbon dioxide and release life giving oxygen into the atmosphere. Prayer is like breathing with God. In the same way Jesus taught his disciples to pray, and the disciples taught the churches to pray, we ought to be teaching our children to pray.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Modeling this kind of daily prayer with our kids teaches them about their relationship with God. Kids can rejoice in our savior. Kids can show gratitude for God’s many blessings. Kids grow in compassion by asking God to help hurting people. Kids can trust God to take care of them. Kids can have the peace of God guard their hearts (emotions) and minds (thoughts).
Pruning – Hardship
I hate to see my kids sick or suffering. And if someone is messing with them… look out! But in reality, if we want to see the fruit of the Spirit in our kids lives we have to help them understand hardship and how we handle it.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit… I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing… If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15: 1, 2, 5, 7-11
The truth is, life isn’t fair. I believe our job is to protect our youngest ones from harm and suffering, but as they grow we must teach them how to obey the rules for their own good. We don’t let our kids play in the street or eat ice cream for every meal. We don’t make a baby change his own diaper, but we eventually teach him to clean up after himself.
This submission to pruning is something we model to our kids. When you are seeking God’s will in prayer invite your kids into it. If they are old enough to pray they are old enough to help us pray for God’s wisdom in our lives as parents. They will see how we seek the Lord in our own hard times for guidance, wisdom, patience and provision. As they see God answering prayer in our lives they will connect with God in powerful ways. They understand more than we give them credit for.
I hope this has encouraged you to pray bold new prayers for your kids. Next time we’ll look at the second half of the verse and learn what it means to be a corner pillar cut for a palace.
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