Redemption – Smallchelle

How Far do Prayers Go?

Posted on June 3, 2016Leave a comment

I’ve been reading Stephen King’s book On Writing again. He talks about how writing is the most distilled form of telepathy there is. It takes the thoughts in my mind, puts them on a page, and then you have the ability to literally read my mind across space and time. My thoughts go straight into your mind. I love the analogy and wholeheartedly agree.

I thought about this in relation to the Bible. It’s the thoughts of the mind of God, in written form. The only way we can know what God’s thinks is to read His word.

The difference between God and King is that I am able through prayer to make my thoughts known to God. I don’t even have to write them down. Even deeper than that, Psalm 139:1-6 tells us:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

Jesus tells his disciples in Matthew 6:8 we don’t need to use very many words because our Heavenly Father knows what we need before we ask him.

Jesus even demonstrated this a few times in the gospels when he would “know the thoughts” of the pharisees and scribes, and even the disciples on a couple of occasions, and answer their unsaid accusations and questions.

Prayers are not just hopes and wishes. Prayers are leaning our full weight of trust and faith on a God who is able to answer us. If we do not believe in the absolute sovereignty of God then why even bother praying?

God is good and kind and he desires repentance rather than sacrifice. His will is that all would come to repentance. When we pray for our loved ones to be saved, and even our enemies to be saved, we are asking God to impose his will above their own will to remain in selfish autonomy.

Does God do that? Does he take people by force for their own good and his own glory? You better believe it. He did it to Saul of Tarsus and for sure He did it to me.

Are any of us “saved” of our own “free will?”

I feel like we live our whole lives in a sort of Stockholm syndrome. I’m speaking through my general American lense here. I imagine things aren’t this way in every country and culture. This is my own bit of sociological musing. I’m getting a little philosophical here, but follow along…

We don’t ask to be born. As babies and children we are captives of our parents. We generally grow to love them over time because they care for us. Even abused and neglected kids form strong bonds with the people who raise them.

As youths and adolescents, we are captives of the current education system. A performance based reward and punishment system in which we don’t always understand the rules. Every teacher’s expectations and rules are a little bit different.

In young adulthood we finally see an escape hatch. We get to exercise “choice.” Decisions can be made to continue school and go to college, maybe get a job or learn a trade, perhaps join the military.

But once the choice is made we subject ourselves again to the oversight of more teachers, bosses, drill instructors/commanders.

Maybe you meet that special someone, get married, and again find yourself subjected to a will beyond your own. How well we get along in marriage is dependent on our ability to yield our wills to each other.

Perhaps you decide to have children and the cycle starts again but you’re on the other end this time. You bring unwitting innocents into the world according to your will, then you wonder at your own sanity as you clash wills with tiny people who can’t even wipe their own butts or pour a cup of milk without spilling.

But you love them. They may test your patience minute by minute, they may ruin your possessions and finances, they may even break your heart with careless words or ungrateful attitudes. But you love them.

By the time we reach our death beds our biggest hope is that we raised our kids well enough that we leave a good legacy and hope not many of our descendants end up in jail or as complete heathens.

What does all this have to do with prayer and God’s will? It’s about who we become when we surrender our will to God and about how we pray for those who haven’t surrendered to God yet.

It’s not magic, it’s surrender.

How does God save us? We just don’t know. One moment we are blind, and the next, we see! One moment our heart is stone, and the next, it’s alive. Not our physical heart, of course, but what we might call our soul.

When we pray for our friends and family to be saved, this is what we’re asking for. Spiritual life and vision. We are praying for them to surrender their will to God’s will. We love them so much we pray that God would take them by force if necessary.

For ten years we prayed for my dad, who professed Christ but was a “functioning” alcoholic. “Rock bottom” came a number of times, but surrender did finally come. God is gracious and amazing. My dad’s been surrendered to God for almost 13 years. He’s a changed man, and not just behaviorally, but on the inside.

There’s a friend of ours my husband and I have been praying for for 17 years. His wife is a believer but he says he’s agnostic. He respects our faith but he has never had any experience that would convince him of God’s existence. His family moved a few hours north of us last year.

When they moved I began praying that God would bring him more Christian friends in their new town. We visited them recently and they also invited a new couple they made friends with to the bbq we had. And is it any surprise that they are totally Christians? The husband even has almost the exact same celtic cross tattoo as my husband. Answers to prayer across time and space.

An answer to prayer like that is faith building. It’s not some crazy miracle, but if it is God’s will that people come to repentance is it any wonder when he answers a prayer that lines up with that will? So I will continue to pray on, for our friend and many other unsaved and prodigal friends and family who desperately need the love of God in their lives.

Who have you grown weary praying for? Take a minute and pray for them right now. Think about stories like Saul of Tarsus and the Theif on the Cross, who’s eyes were opened in an instant. Partner with God’s will for repentance and salvation. Keep on praying.

His Death Shall Bring

Posted on May 13, 2016Leave a comment

Genealogy in the Bible can be a giant stumbling block for some people. It may seem like list after boring list of confusing, difficult to pronounce, senseless names. Today I want to show you something special. Let’s go on a unique genealogical journey to the heart of the Gospel of right there in Genesis.

My research is largely based on this article by Chuck Missler that touched me so deeply about 17 years ago. More solid proof to me that God is speaking to us all the time, but sometimes we don’t know how to hear it.

Last post I jumped right into the flood, but now I’d like to backtrack a little and take you through the meanings of the names of the genealogy from Adam to Noah in Genesis 5.

God is a better Architect

According to Chuck’s research, “Methuselah comes from muth, a root that means “death”; and from shalach, which means to bring, or to send forth. The name Methuselah means, “his death shall bring”.” If we do the math of how long he lived and when he died, the flood came in the same year that Methuselah died.

I’m going to list the Hebrew names and their English meanings but I highly recommend you read Genesis 5 and then read the Chuck Missler Article for his brief explanations and research notes on each name.

Adam = Man
Seth = Appointed
Enosh = Mortal
Kenan = Sorrow
Mahalalel = The Blessed God
Jared = Shall come down
Enoch = Teaching
Methuselah = His death shall bring
Lamech = The Despairing
Noah = Rest, or comfort.

Written out it reads:

Man (is) appointed mortal sorrow; (but) the Blessed God shall come down teaching (that) His death shall bring (the) despairing rest.

So many think the flood was God’s angry judgement, but there is another side to that coin. In Missler’s article he points out that “Methuselah’s life, in effect, was a symbol of God’s mercy in forestalling the coming judgment of the flood. Therefore, it is fitting that his lifetime is the oldest in the Bible, speaking of the extensiveness of God’s mercy.”

Jesus is a better Ark

By design, every bit of the Gospel was written before time began. The death and resurrection of Jesus gives us rest from the despair of the Law, of knowing there is no way we can live up to the standard of perfection. Rest from worry and fear, and rest from our own sin, sickness, and brokenness. Colossians 2:13-15 comforts us with these words:

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Searching for God and Finding Jesus

Jesus says to the religious folks who knew the torah and Noah’s genealogy word for word,

“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” John 5:39-40

What are we doing here? Why do we “search the scriptures” or study the bible? Is it just to heap more information into our brains? Jesus tells us what the bible is for… to lead us to go to him so that we may have life. It’s how we spend time getting to know and love Jesus more and more. After all, the name “Jesus” means “God saves.” The Apostle Peter says,

“And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

Thanks for reading. I hope this has given you a new sense of wonder at just how amazing our God is, that even a rag-tag list of names lays out perfectly His plan of salvation! As always feel free to leave a comment or email me.

What’s so “Good” About Good Friday?

Posted on March 25, 20162 Comments

I remember as a kid, going to the Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside, CA for Easter Mass with my family. I always loved the stained glass panels, the smooth, well worn wood of the pews, the slight tang of incense that never completely dissipates. The statues always intrigued me the most. There was of course Mary, robed in blue and white, with a look of absolute serenity beaming down on me.

There was one statue that always haunted me though. It’s of Christ just before he goes to the cross, beaten, bloody, hands tied, with a crown of thorns on his head and a deep red velvet robe draped over his shoulders. It’s called “Ecco Homo”, the latin words for what Pontius Pilate said after Jesus had been scourged, “Behold the Man.”

I’m not Catholic anymore, but I look forward to “Good Friday” service at the church I’m part of every year because when I really focus my mind on that image, the broken Christ, something amazing happens. The goodness of God is exposed. Might sound kinda crazy but let me explain with a little Bible Q & A.

If God is so good then why was Jesus, his anointed one, so badly treated?

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

Who really was this Jesus?

He is more beautiful than I was ever told as a child. His life was one of love, passion and mercy. He was unique in all that exists. Not created but the Creator Himself. Not just a mere man, but the embodiment of God’s goodness to mankind.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. Col 1:15-20

What’s so “Good” about Good Friday?

What does the cross give us?
Righteousness
Reconciliation
Forgiveness
Justification
Freedom
Adoption
Love
Hope
Peace
Eternal Life
Resurrection
Holy Spirit
Mercy
Grace

What does the cross take away?
Shame
Condemnation
Separation
Wrath
Spiritual Deadness
Hopelessness
Punishment
Sin
Death
Fear

Jesus loves me this I know…

So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:7-18

Sunday’s Comin!

But today we focus in on the cross. In the hero’s journey it’s the moment when all hope seems lost. It’s the thick darkness that comes before the dawn. It’s the one who was supposed to rescue us all and save the day, dead. The apostles were scattered and afraid. They watched their best friend and mentor die.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth. Isa 53:7

It’s the King of Kings, led like a lamb to be slaughtered, silent before his shearers. He is the Good Shepherd AND the Lamb that takes away the sin of the world. He did it all for love, and all for your sins and mine.

Our humanity says the hero doesn’t die… the hero rallies, stands up, finishes his fight and saves the day. Jesus wasn’t just interested in saving the day, but rather in saving you and me. That meant going all the way into death so he could fight death from the other side and rise again!

Today “Behold the Man,” knowing that you are his joy.

“…looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Heb 12:2

I hope this has encouraged you. I’d love for you to share in the comments what the cross of Christ has given you and what it has taken away.

John 4 Part 5 – Meanwhile…

Posted on February 12, 2016Leave a comment

We are nearing the end of our trip to Samaria with Jesus. He’s just had a very intense conversation with a Samaritan woman who has suddenly come to faith in him as her Messiah. Right after Jesus reveals this to her the disciples come strolling back from town where they bought food. An article on the Near East Tourism Agency’s website says that the town was about 1 kilometer or just over half of a mile from the well. How long does it take to walk that? 12 or maybe 15 minutes or so. Not all that long…

This got me wondering… did they cross paths? Did the disciples ignore the woman on their way to town as she was on her way to the well to draw water? I think it’s entirely possible.

The conversation between Jesus and the woman lasted maybe 45 minutes while the disciples were gone buying food. John 4:27 says, “Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” When they returned she left her jar and took off running.

So while the Samaritan woman ran back to town, witnessed her testimony to a bunch of people, then brought them all back out of the town to meet Jesus, he has a different conversation with his disciples. With how close the town was this wouldn’t have taken very long, maybe an hour or so.

The Work of God = Spiritual Food

Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.” So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.” John 4:31-33

Jesus has this mini leadership conference with his disciples. They are just as confused as the woman was between the spiritual and the physical. They are insisting Jesus eat physical food to nourish his physical body, but he tells them he doesn’t need it. His food, nourishment, and satisfaction came from constantly operating in God’s will and ultimately finishing his work on the cross.

Imagine the scene as Jesus speaks these next words to his disciples. He tells them to open their eyes and look… Many commentators believe he may have been pointing to a nearby field of wheat. Based on the timing we looked at earlier I believe it’s possible they would have seen the crowd of people coming back from town with the woman to meet Jesus.

“Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.” John 4:35-38

When the disciples went to town to buy food for their hungry tummies they had every opportunity to tell the people the Messiah was in their midst, but they didn’t. Then Jesus shows them how hungry the world is for him. The woman he met ran and brought back a crowd with hearts ripe to be harvested into the kingdom. He’s telling the disciples they will reap what the woman has sown as they enter into her labor (witnessing her testimony) among the people.

This was a foreshadowing of what will also continue into their ministries after Jesus ascends. It is instruction to us as well. Some sow and some reap but we all work together in the harvest. It is satisfying to our souls to do the work of God. It is emptiness to our souls to focus on ourselves.

Psalm 63:5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. (NLT)

The Glorious Result = the Harvest

Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me all that I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days. And many more believed because of his word. They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.” John 4:39-42

I love how Jesus speaks to us. When we are in sin, when we are being selfish, when he wants to teach us about the kingdom of God, he is perfectly patient with all of us. At certain times in my life I have related to each of the folks in this account, the hurting woman, the confused disciple, the seeking townspeople. Here he spends two days with these seekers. It doesn’t even say he did miracles but that they believed because of his word.

“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” John 5:39-40

His word doesn’t just give us a basis for morality, but it is the very thing that shows us who he is, his love for us, and leads us to believe in him for eternal life.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip to Samaria with me. Jesus invites us today to participate in the harvest, casting seed and watering and even reaping when we see spiritually dead rise to new life in Christ. Be encouraged to share your testimony and help your family and friends become part of the harvest for eternal life. There’s nothing else like it.

Next Time

A Modern day well dig – My friend Rob shares his amazing experience of digging a well for a small village near Somalia and how his faith has impacted his life and military service. You won’t want to miss it!

PSALM 107 PART 4 – FOOLISH IDOLATRY & REDEMPTION JOY

Posted on October 8, 2015Leave a comment

In my last post I laid myself bare. The sin I fell in, the sin I walked in, the sin I reveled in. Because of these things I became a captive. Though I was a child of God I lived foolishly, according to my own selfish desires, until I ultimately reached a breaking point. Rock bottom as many put it. The thing I failed to see back then that I recognize now was what God was testing in my heart. Though I loved God and knew He loved me, the problem I had was ultimately a worship problem. Idolatry.

Psalm 107:17-22

Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!

When God led the Isrealites to Mt. Sinai in the wilderness to give them His law they were breaking the first commandment before it even came down written in stone. In their foolishness they begged for something to worship, then made an idol,a golden calf, and worshipped that while the living God himself was just up the hill.

In verse 19 of this psalm God delivers His people when they cry out, and verse 20 tells us the means by which He did so. He sent His word. It doesn’t say they obeyed his word, but that He sent it and that it healed them and delivered them. Wow. Powerful.

At that time in my life I ate and drank the word of God like a baby hungry for milk. I was spiritually sick and broken and it was my medicine. It was sweet to me and I couldn’t get enough. It was the living water of the word that began healing my self inflicted sin wounds, washing away guilt and shame, teaching me to worship in spirit and in truth.

God, in his divine irony, also brought me an unforeseen love. I wasn’t looking for it, but as I began spending more time with my best friend I got to know her brother even better. I had already known him for years and he’d seen the worst I had been through. We would all hang out and play board games on Saturday nights then meet at church on Sunday and have coffee after. My best friend’s brother was shy and good and humble. He loved the Lord and the word and his family. Tough on the outside but tenderhearted and funny. A big difference from the other “bad boys” I had dated. However, the enemy taunted me, how could a good Christian boy like that ever love a broken, used up, single mom like me? He was already a good friend and if something went wrong I could lose him and my best friend too.

He and I started having long email conversations throughout the week and then we would cautiously flirt on game night. I began praying and asking God if there was a possible relationship with him. The more I prayed the clearer it became. Not an exact directive from the Lord, I knew the choice would ultimately be mine, but I saw God showing me safe haven. That I could have a healthy, Godly relationship. Another chance. Grace to start new. And that if I chose it He would give me the desires of my heart.

One summer night he and I had a long, honest conversation. We found out we had both been praying about each other. We talked about what our future might look like if we started dating… Marriage… Probably… Family… Possibly if the Lord wills it… Life… Together… The very next day, my 21st birthday, he told me he loved me.

I didn’t know how to be the woman I should be but I knew I never wanted to be the prodigal I had been. It’s been 17 years since that night and we’ve never looked back. On our 6 month dating anniversary he proposed and a year and a half later, after he graduated from college, we got married. When we started dating he was a virgin, and only by the grace of God was he a virgin until our wedding night. He insisted that our love would be stronger without sex. It wasn’t that he didn’t “want to,” but rather that he knew he could love me without that and I think he knew I needed to learn how to love without that as well.

This is part of my redemption story. That God would give a woman like me a man like him. My husband so boldly demonstrated Gods love in my life by loving me when I didn’t deserve it. Loving me despite my broken places. He knew my past. He knew my baggage. He loved me anyways. He loved my daughter as well.

We can’t use other people to make us happy. We can try, but it is foolishness, selfishness and idolatry. We end up wrecking ourselves and others. God’s word says true love is giving our lives for one another, not taking as much as we can from each other to get our own needs met or feel happy. When we build each other up in the word we gain true Godly wisdom, selflessly serving each other instead of the self serving foolishness of trying to get our own comfort at each other’s expense. This applies in dating, marriage, with kids, with our parents and pastors and bosses too. It’s drinking deep of the word of God that heals us. Then in our gratefulness we share our joy, we can turn around and say, “My soul is well! How can I help your soul know the love of God today?”

Psalm 107 Part 2 – The Wanderers & Giving Thanks

Posted on November 27, 2014Leave a comment

Our walk through Psalm 107 continues with Part 2, the Wanderers. I also share my conversion experience and some of the events leading up to it. It is important to look back, to remember why I am who I am today. I am an adopted daughter of God by grace alone through faith alone. And sometimes I take that for granted. I really want to take this time to thank God for His steadfast love and the miraculous things He has done in my life. I once was lost but now I’m found and it’s the thing I’m most thankful for.

Psalm 107:4-9

Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Verses 4-9 tell us a general story about some folks wandering in the desert. Their situation gets so desperate. They have no homes, no food, no water and no hope. They cried out to God and he delivered them. He led them home. He proved his love for them not only by providing physical security but he satisfied the deepest longing and hunger of their souls. They were so thankful they made sure the next generation, the children of men, knew all about it.

What does it mean to wander? The Dictionary.com app (Websters) lists many definitions, but here are just a couple:
1. to ramble without a definite purpose or objective
2. to go aimlessly, indirectly, or casually; meander
3. to extend in an irregular course or direction

This passage doesn’t tell us how these folks ended up in the desert, just that they were wandering there. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years. The amazing thing is that it was God himself, by way of deliverance through Moses, who led them into the wilderness. Often I wonder why God does something, and many times there are no answers, but there are a couple of scriptures that tell us exactly why God led them into the desert.

Exodus 13:17-18 tells us

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.” But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.

It seems like God led them on a hard path to protect them from something worse. He did this because he knew the fear in their hearts. The Philistines were an enemy that they were not prepared for yet and if they had returned to Egypt pharaoh would have been shooting fish in a barrel. Is it possible God took them through a lesser trial to prepare them for a greater trial later? Probably. Do lesser trials seem lesser at the time? Not really.

Exodus 14:1-4

Then the LORD said to Moses, “Tell the people of Israel to turn back and encamp in front of Pi-hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, in front of Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea. For Pharaoh will say of the people of Israel, ‘They are wandering in the land; the wilderness has shut them in.’ And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, and the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD.” And they did so.

Why did God put their backs against the proverbial wall? Did you catch it? To get glory over the enemy. To display his absolute providence in the affairs of man and to show his people that despite their lack of faith he keeps his promises.

We all know what happens next. I encourage you to read Exodus 14. The details of this account are so incredible. God made a straight path where there was no path. Then in Exodus 15 is their song of triumph. Like Psalm 107:8 says, they praised God and his wonderous works and his steadfast love to themselves and their children.

Later, when they needed water he led them to the oasis, then when they needed food he rained down daily bread from heaven. When they refused to enter the promised land because of fear he still took care of them for 40 years in the desert, leading and providing everything they needed. Even their shoes didn’t wear out. He waited for the right time when the next generation, the little children who had come through the Red Sea, were grown and ready for the battles ahead.

Deuteronomy 8:2-3 tells us WHY

And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

Sound familiar? The last half of verse 3 is what Jesus quoted in Matthew 4:4 to Satan who tempted him to make bread from stones after the Spirit had led him to the wilderness for 40 days of fasting.

The wilderness times in our lives are an opportunity, not to starve, but to see the mighty hand of God deliver us. He humbles us. He lets us hunger. Then he feeds us. Why? To make us know that physical bread isn’t the only thing we need. To make us know that we can’t meet our spiritual needs with physical things.

Here’s a glimpse into the wilderness of my youth and how God saved me at age 15.

I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church. I know there are some awesome Catholic’s out there who know and love the Lord, but it wasn’t that way for me. I was baptized as an infant, went to catholic school, catechism classes, learned all the rules, memorized the Our Father, said the fastest Hail Mary this side of the Rockies, received my first communion, went to confession (a lot), and still had no idea why Jesus mattered.

I remember most Sunday’s sitting in the pew next to my mom and spinning her wedding ring round and round her finger, watching the light glint off the diamonds while the priest droned on in the background. If I misbehaved my dad would take me outside and make me face the wall. He admitted to me in recent years that it was as much a relief for him as it was a punishment for me. I did like the songs and the stained glass. I loved the statues, Mary, and St. Francis, always looking so holy and peaceful. But church was what we did on Sunday with no more mention of God during the week except for fish stick Fridays during lent.

I met my own personal wilderness when I was 14. I was very close to my grandma on my mom’s side. Grandma Z. She was tough but fun. She babysat me a lot when I was little. Then later when I was a pre-teen she would stay the night with us in my room. It was like a sleep over, we would talk and giggle. We played gin rummy and sometimes after my bath she would rub Nivea lotion into my little arms and legs. She was one of my best friends. But she was sick. As I watched her health declining I prayed, really the only time I remember praying something I hadn’t memorized. I knew she was going to die but I would beg God to let her live till I was 16.

A couple months after my 14th birthday she went into a care facility and never made it back out. It was my freshman year of high school, almost Thanksgiving. I was under a heavy load of full honors, AP/IB college prep classes. I went numb. I stopped doing homework. I would sit in the back of class and try to pay attention but if I wasn’t crying I would make myself fall asleep to escape the grief that was eating my soul. I was mad at God. How could he just take her away from me like that? The whole family started making excuses to not go to church. It was a busy season. Dad was golfing more and drinking more, mom was dealing with the grief of her mom passing in her own way, and my little brother was a typical nuisance. Somehow we all made it through the holidays, then just before Easter Grandpa B, my dad’s dad, passed away, ironically from alcoholism complications. Life went pretty quickly to hell after that.

I dressed in Sunday best for Easter, we all went to mass with my Grandma B, put on smiles and choked down communion. But I felt dead inside. It was the last communion I would partake of until later after God saved me. My dad’s drinking really escalated after that. He managed to hang on to his job but was drinking every night and binge drinking away nearly every weekend. My mom’s way of escaping his madness was to take us kids out shopping. One of the things she would never deny me was books. I used that to my advantage and had her buying me books on alternative spirituality and the occult. It was something I had already been into and at that time I gave myself to it completely. Astrology, eastern meditation, astral projection, Ouigi, dream control and interpretation, Tarot card reading, crystals. I bought into it all. I even had an incense altar to the Goddess in my room that I hid from my parents. I became a pagan, a witch.

I was wandering in the wilderness, so hungry and thirsty, desperate for love and power, some scrap of control in my life that felt so out of control. The more spirituality I tried to stuff into my soul the emptier I became. I started looking for a coven to join.

One day a concerned friend asked me if I had ever accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and savior. My answer to that was “I know all about God, I was baptized and went to church enough. I’m a good person.” I remember seeing Jesus at the Mission every Christmas at mass. There was the typical nativity, but there was always this one huge statue of him all bloody hanging on the cross. It actually kind of freaked me out. But she invited me to a youth group event and I decided to go, wondering if maybe there was something I missed.

People there were happy, welcoming, and having fun. So much different than my previous church experiences. She asked if I would like to go to bible study sometime. I was still very skeptical, a proclaimed agnostic, but I found myself agreeing to go. Over the next couple of months I went every week and though I was mostly confused I was also drawn in. I really wanted to understand what they were talking about.

On October 20th 1992 I went to a big Christian music concert at Kit Carson park in Escondido. The only reason my folks let me go was because it was sponsored by a local church. I went with one of my guy friends and his group of buddies. It was incredible. So many people. Awesome music. Lots of moshing and head banging. Then, after “Die Happy” but before the headliners “The Crucified”, a guy got up and gave his testimony. He talked about the fences we build in our hearts. How we want to know God but we want to stay safe so we just sit on the fence without choosing one side or the other. I felt like he was talking only to me! In that moment my heart burst wide open, I didn’t want to be mad at God anymore! I didn’t want to be lost and empty anymore! Hot tears rolled down my cold cheeks in the dark, in the crowd. He invited anyone who wanted to know Jesus to come to the stage for prayer. I ran. I think I was the second or third kid up there out of maybe 30 or so. It was bright and loud… We all went to a grassy area at the side of the stage where they gave us a copy of the New Testament and we prayed.

My friends were so excited. The guy who had invited me to that concert invited me to go to church with him the next Sunday. I started getting up really early on Sunday’s to go and my folks thought I was crazy. I kept going to the weekly bible study with my other friend and was amazed at how much more sense the bible made. I felt like things were going to get better. I started doing better in school. I felt like I had a future again.

I wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, my soul fainted within me. Then I cried to the LORD in my trouble, and he delivered me from my distress. He led me by a straight way till I reached a city to dwell in. I will thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Do you remember when He saved you? I’d love to hear about it, feel free to share in the comments.

Psalm 107 Part 1 – The Redeemed of the Lord Say So!

Posted on November 4, 20141 Comment

psalm 107:1-3

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
whom he has redeemed from trouble
and gathered in from the lands,
from the east and from the west,
from the north and from the south.

This is the beginning of the psalm that opens Book 5 of the Psalms. Did you know there were five books of Psalms? Me neither… until I read this one. The ESV Study Bible notes that Psalms may have been divided as an imitation of the five books of the Pentateuch (the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures). The last Psalm in each of the five books ends with a doxology (an exclamation of praise to God,) and the last, Psalm 150, is the doxological conclusion of Book 5 and the entire Book of Psalms.

Psalm 107 is poetry, written in it’s own repetitive sections. The first three verses here introduce us to the Lord who is good. He loves, redeems and gathers people. Then there are 4 sections that begin with the word “Some” in reference to types of people. The last section holds a warning for the wicked and encouragement for the needy. Each section is a story of rescue and redemption. It is a beautiful call to thank and praise God as He rescues us from a variety of “trouble.”

all encompassing

The compass directions in verse 3 foreshadow what is to come. If you look at a map of the Middle East in ancient times we see what is located in those directions. Verse 4 says “Some wandered in desert wastes…” To the east we see a vast expanse of desert, where a man named Abram was called out of Ur to a land he didn’t know. Verse 10 describes “Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons…” To the west we see Egypt, a dark time of captivity for Gods people. Verse 17 tells us “Some were fools through their sinful ways…” and north is the lands of Cannan, desperate idolatry and opposition to God’s people. Verse 23 says “Some went down to the sea in ships…” And to the south we indeed see the sea, a source of commerce. Each section is filled with calamity but in the center of each “Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” The means of deliverance are explained and then the end of each sections repeats “Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of men.”

The testimony of god’s children

In a series of posts we’ll walk through the implications of each of these and how we can see the wondrous works of God in our lives and have a deep thankfulness for his love toward us. We’ll see people snared by circumstances beyond their control, as well as trouble they brought on themselves. They will cry out to God and He will deliver them. This Psalm has been deeply encouraging to me as I look back at the course of my own life. I will be sharing some of the darkest times in my own past, how I went my own way, found myself trapped, cried out to the Lord, and how He delivered me, rescued me, and redeemed me, even at my lowest, worst and most broken. Not because I deserved it, but because He is a good God full of compassion and mercy. And I am thankful to the LORD! I will share the testimony of my past wreckage, not to glorify it, but in order to glorify the God who saved me from it. I hope to make myself small and to show you how big and glorious He is.

are you the redeemed of the lord?

If you are then let’s give thanks to him, out loud right now, “Thank You God!”
If you are not, then why not? Look at your life and ask God to open your eyes to his wondrous works on your behalf. When did he rescue you from trouble? He is not an angry judgmental old man waiting for you to fail so he can punish you. He is good, and his steadfast love endures forever!

Thanks for reading. I would love to read your comments below.

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