faith – Smallchelle

Fall Faith

Posted on October 1, 20161 Comment

Fall is beautiful. We have scenes in our minds of leaves turning the color of amber and sunlight then being gently cradled by the breeze as they waft down and wait to be raked into delightful piles for children to jump in.

Fall is actually rather violent. Trees literally cut off their own leaves in the fall in order to survive winter. By the time the rain and the wind are knocking leaves down the tree is well and truly done with them.

The trees stand naked through the winter, sad sentinels of loss. Metabolism slows and it may appear that nothing is happening, but under the surface prep work is being done for the Spring. The tree stores up energy and nutrients, holding its breath, waiting to burst forth with new growth when the time is right.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.
The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the Lord upholds his hand.
Psalm 37:3-6, 23-24

Does the tree spend fall desperately try to hang on to those leaves? Does the tree spend winter worrying if the new leaves are coming? Does it bemoan its own nakedness? Does it wait anxiously? Of course not. It’s a tree. But in the Fall seasons of our lives we do all these things and more. We forget that there is a season for everything.

I’m recognizing a change of season in my own life right now. The Lord is showing me the leaves that I must cut off. He is inviting me into a time of quiet, slow metabolism. He is asking me to get soul naked and take a good look at my hard bark. He is also promising me new leaves and fruit in the spring.

“Chelle,“ you say, “you’re speaking in riddles! What are you talking about girl?”

I’m talking about this blog and my calling to share God’s word and encouragement with you my friends. This past year on the blog has been an amazing journey of faith for me. It’s been abundant fruit. It’s been Summer faith. It’s been God showing me that I can be disciplined. That I can (by a miracle of the Holy Spirit) get up early every morning and write. That I can hear his voice every day.

But now it’s time for Fall faith. It’s time to slow down. Time to let go. To cut it off. The blog will still be here, like the pile of leaves for the kids to play in. I may still post every now and then throughout the Fall and Winter, but my energy has to move away from the leaves you see here.

I’ll be spending Fall and Winter just studying and writing. I have plans, Lord willing, to launch some new things in the Spring. If I try to keep up posting here too I will be spread too thin and none if it will be done well.

Some of you are subscribed to my Blog Newsletter. Thank you so much! You have no idea what that has meant to me. I really do appreciate it. I plan to still send monthly emails with updates on my progress and possibly even previews of what I’m working on. If you don’t receive my newsletter yet I invite you to subscribe. My mailing list will be the first to know about the new things I’m working on.

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord!
I have fled to you for refuge.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God!
Let your good Spirit lead me
on level ground!
Psalm 143:8-10

Are you coming into a “Fall” season in your life? Does it feel like life is falling apart around you? Are you having to let go of something you love? I just want to encourage you that it is all part of the work God is doing in your life. Take the quiet season, with your branches stripped bare, and sink your roots deep into the word while you reach your arms to heaven in praise and worship Him. Trust that he is working in you now for fruit in a future season.

I had a Friend

Posted on August 27, 20162 Comments

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God…”

I had a friend. She was a believer. We first met at a women’s retreat and were instant kindred spirits. She was a little bit younger than me but we had similar pasts that the Lord had delivered us from. We had both been into drugs and had children as teens out of wedlock. The Lord had rescued us both from so much. She lived in another state so she would fly out every other year just to come to retreat. We had maybe 4 or 5 retreats together. In between we would seldom talk but when we did we’d spend hours on the phone catching up on life. And at retreat it was like we’d never been apart, picking up our friendship right where we’d left off.

One year at retreat that bit of Psalm 46 was our theme. It was so powerful. God embraced us both in a very tender way that weekend.

As time went on my friend was drawn away into desperate sin that ended with her death. I can’t tell you the horror of that day. The soul crushing I experienced in the moment I found out she was gone. I felt like I was imploding, like all the air had been sucked from my lungs and I’d never breathe again. And when all the tears had been wept, and all the why’s had been asked, and all the whole world seemed upside down, God bid me to come, crawl into his lap and “be still.”

I can’t ever read Psalm 46 without thinking about my friend. I miss her dearly. I still see her mom every year at Women’s retreat. The one we were at together the year after my friend died was the hardest. She spent long hours telling me all that had happened the night her daughter died. We wept all over again. And then I spent long hours encouraging her with scripture upon scripture, lots of hugs and rivers of tears.

I believe my friend is in heaven, not because she was good, or somehow deserved it, but because God is good. I believe her faith, however tenuous, was real faith. I believe in the perseverance of the saints. I believe in eternal life. I believe God rescued my friend from a fate worse than death. I believe he saved her from herself, first in life, then in death.

The night before I found out she died, maybe even the moment of her death, I was at a Worship Night at our church. I was on my knees, crying, singing, “Light a fire down in my soul, that I can’t contain, that I can’t control, I want more of you God! I want more of you!” I remember it so vividly, and I think it was because of the emotional turmoil of the next few days. I held on desperately to that soul naked feeling that only comes from worshiping God. Knowing that it could as easily have been me and that but for the grace of God there go I.

She was in her early 30’s. She left behind a husband and three children. They grow more beautiful every day. My friends mom sends me pictures occasionally and I pray for them all often. She has been helping a lot with the kids and has that special relationship with them that only Grandparents get to have. Maybe even closer, stronger. They all lost someone so special. But God is with them. Carrying them through, giving them strength.

Someday I’ll see my friend again, in the hot tub at the giant women’s retreat in Heaven. And we’ll worship together and cry together, and then our Jesus will wipe away all our tears with his nail scarred hands. The hands that paid the price for all her sins and mine. And yours too my friend.

We really do need each other. No one was meant to grieve alone. No one is meant to suffer alone. We must fight against the enemy in the way we build Gospel relationships. He’s like a roaring lion that picks off the stragglers. The weak. The lonely. The proud who think they don’t need anyone else. I urge you desperately to get in relationship. You might not be able to know all the women at your church, but you can get to know one or two others.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Life is short and hard but also fun and a great adventure. I hope this has encouraged you. It was hard for me to write, I still miss my friend very much. I went poking through old pictures this week just to see her smiling again. I spent some quiet time with God praying for her family. And I spent some time praying about how I can be a better friend. If we are friends (and this includes family) I want to thank you for that. Let’s have lunch, or get coffee, or hang out with our kids… Let’s take the time before it eventually takes us.

When I am Weak

Posted on July 16, 2016Leave a comment

I recently watched an episode of the T.V. show House in which the main character, Dr. Greg House was released from a lengthy stay at a psychiatric hospital with a party called his re-birth day. He spends a large portion of the episode making life miserable for everyone to prove that he’s “better” and ready to leave and get on with his life. He refuses to take his meds. He’s mean and disruptive. Then he’s sees what he perceives as the mistreatment of another patient, a young man who is delusional and believes he’s a superhero.

Pride Goes Before a Fall

House smuggles this patient off the grounds and takes him to a carnival where they go on a ride that simulates flying and play the “strongman” game where you use a hammer to send up a puck that rings a bell. After what appeared to be a fun time the young man climbs up to a ledge in a parking garage, and still believing he can fly, jumps from the ledge and is badly injured.

House realizes he was wrong. He couldn’t fix the young man’s delusion, and had in fact made it worse. The next scene shows House taking his meds. He is confronted by his roommate, who was also refusing meds.

Roommate says, “You let them get to you. They broke you.”

House replies “They didn’t break me, I am broken.”

I loved this. I saw Peter echoed here. At first so proud and confident to Jesus… “Though all deny you I will not deny you, I will go with you to death.” Then he denies Christ 3 times. Once he is humbled and recognizes his weakness is Jesus able to ask him to “feed his lambs.” Before his denial he was too strong and proud to serve anyone but himself. After his denial and repentance he had a full view of his own brokenness and his need for strength from a source outside himself.

When I am Weak then I am Strong

Over the course of the rest of the episode House learns how to open up for real to his therapist, stop trying to fix everyone else and apologize to and move on with the delusional man. Toward the end he suffers an emotional hurt and instead of going back to his addiction he seeks out his therapist and admits his pain and fear. It is at this moment the therapist tells him he’s finally ready to go back to “normal” life.

We can’t live a real Christian life until we admit that we can’t really live the Christian life! Paradoxical, I know. Paul explains this in Second Corinthians:

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:17

At a prayer meeting earlier this week a friend reminded me of the sermon on the mount where Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” We are poor in spirit when we recognize we have a spiritual need and see God as the only answer to that need.

We have a choice to make every day. We can either stand in pride and do everything possible to gain and maintain our own kingdom, or we can surrender and trust the God who made us, who is trustworthy and true. We can seek His kingdom and know that He will give us everything we need in this life and the next. Even if it’s what God gave Paul, “sufficient grace.” And isn’t His grace worth more than anything this world has to offer?

Pillars for a Palace

Posted on July 2, 20161 Comment

Sometimes when reading scripture we have that moment when a single verse seems to jump off the page. It’s as if the Holy Spirit winks at us and says, “Here ya go, this one’s just for you.” It’s the light bulb going on, the “aha” moment. I love when this happens. It will often spark a treasure hunt where I spend time cross referencing through scripture and googling about the bit that caught my interest. This has been one of those verses from me.

May our sons in their youth
be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars
cut for the structure of a palace;
Psalm 144:12

Last time we talked about the three things needed to bring our kids to fruit bearing maturity, the Word, prayer, and guidance through hardship. Today we look at pillars and how this relates to our kids. How they are chosen, their purpose, and what it means to be the corner of a palace.

Cut for Beauty

Pillars are seen from the outside of a structure. Unlike modern construction which reduces everything to right angles and short ceilings, the pillars of the past were immense in size and beautiful. Some carved in simple channels others carved in ornate spirals. People travel for and wide just to glimpse what’s left of the marvels of the ancient Greek and Roman buildings with their soaring columns and beautiful construction.

Have you looked at your kids lately? Aren’t they cute? Aren’t they gorgeous? Aren’t they fearfully and wonderfully made? Have you ever just stared at your sleeping child and thanked God for their presence in your life? Make sure your kids know you love them. Make sure they know you see them as gifts and blessings from God in your life. It is all too easy to become frustrated and exasperated, especially in the “terrible two’s” or with a “broody teen.”

We don’t have to be at odds with our children. We should be teaching them what true beauty is and then doing whatever we can to make sure they know how beautiful God has made them, inside and out. Tell them what Ephesians 2:10 tells us, they they are God’s workmanship, his special works of art, made to show God’s glory in who they are and all that they do.

Cut for Strength

Pillars are strong, able to hold up very heavy loads in an incredibly stable support system. They connect the foundation to the roof beams. Often they were made from huge barrel shaped pieces of stone stacked on top of each other but the most impressive and strongest were cut from a single piece of stone. They were used in palaces, temples, and even tombs.

Raw materials were cut from quarries and transported sometimes miles to where they were needed. Marble for a pillar was chosen by master builders for its inherent strength. It may be hard to look at your kids, typically the weakest members of society, and see how they could be pillars. Know that God has chosen them, before the foundation of the world, to be your children.

He gives them strength for life the same way he gives us strength for life. The foundation they stand on is Christ and his word, the roof is the hope of heaven.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” Matt 7:24-27

Cut in Community

A single pillar can be used as a monument, a guidepost, or even a warning (like Lot’s wife), but a single pillar cannot hold up a palace. Scripture through and through is about community and family. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac AND Jacob. When we pray we say “OUR Father”, and are encouraged over and over to love each other, serve each other and bear one another’s burdens.

A palace is full of pillars! They work together, standing on the same foundation, holding up the same roof, and the more pillars there are the more shelter they can hold up. As we strive to build our church community let’s make sure we are encouraging our kids in the same kinds of Gospel centered relationships. We do this through kids ministry at church but also by building and modeling healthy Gospel relationships with other moms and dads at church.

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 2:4-5

We can be more than just people who go to the same place to worship on Sundays. We really can build a Gospel community but it doesn’t happen by accident. It takes time and intention.

Full Grown Youth

Posted on June 25, 2016Leave a comment

This week I asked my boys if they were a fruit tree what kind of fruit tree would they be? “Dragonfruit!” said my 13 (almost 14) year old, and “Banana!” said my 10 year old. Exotic kids. And surprising answers that matched them perfectly. One unique, different, unusual, and the other practical, helpful and consistent.

The children are moving up in the world. This week the older boy got “promoted” from 8th grade to “Freshman!” The younger boy finished 4th grade and has one year left of Elementary School. Where have my babies gone? I spent a lot of time this week praying for my boys and the future God has for them. Not just that they would be good and obedient, though some days my prayers are like that. But rather that they would know and trust Him the way I do. Scratch that… I pray that they would know and trust Him better than I do.

May our sons in their youth
be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars
cut for the structure of a palace;
Psalm 144:12

I came across this little set of verses in the Psalms one day a month or so ago and it really struck a chord with me. What a bold prayer. It gave me a little heart check. It made me stop and ask myself “what do I pray for my kids?” As a worried mom I often just white knuckle my way with prayers like “let them be good, and not screw up their lives and not get on drugs and not find porn on the internet and not have sex till they’re married.” (No pressure kids…)

This Psalm gives us a hint of what God wants for our children and what he desires us to pray for them. In many places the bible speaks highly of the faith of children. Our kids can be mature believers in Christ but it’s the same process we go through. Growing like plants, which we’ll look at today, and cut into shape like pillars, which we’ll learn about in the next post.

It takes three things to bring a seedling to fruit bearing maturity. Roots in the water, leaves in the light and air, and pruning. So many verses compare believers to plants. Let’s look at a couple of them in light of our kids.

Roots in the Water – The Word

Scripture compares itself to water. It washes us, quenches our thirst, nourishes us. God provided miracle water for the children of Israel in the desert then Jesus offered himself to us as living water. We are baptised in water as an outward symbol of faith in Jesus.

Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3

Science tells us the human body is up to 75% water and when we don’t drink enough we dehydrate. If the dehydration is bad enough our body systems start shutting down and eventually we die. It is the most necessary element for life.

Our children depend on us for physical food and water, which we happily provide for them a few times every day. We are called as parents to minister to our children’s spiritual needs as well. We must be nourishing our children with the water of the word every day. For little ones this could be simply reading a small story out of an illustrated children’s bible. When our kids were little our favorite was “The Jesus Storybook Bible” by Sally Lloyd-Jones.

Now that my kids are older my 13 year old reads the bible to me and our 10 year old during our morning drive to school. We’ve read through and memorized a few different Psalms and we’re currently reading the Gospel of John. Just a few verses a day is enough to open up amazing discussions about the Gospel, who God is and what he has done for us. It helps us tie scripture to our daily lives and activities. This is how we root our kids in the Gospel for a lifetime of loving God and loving others.

Of course we haven’t always done this perfectly. We work full time and have a lot of things going on like I’m sure you all do. When kids are very little it’s hard to make the bible a priority. I remember days as a young mom when I was lucky to get a shower and a hot meal, much less a few minutes in the word. If this is your season with very little kids and babies give yourself some grace. The Holy Spirit knows your heart. Throw on some praise music. Pray for small opportunities to work the word into your lives and then be ready to pounce when you see one.

Leaves in the Sun and Air – Prayer

We don’t just listen to God. He loves us so much he actually listens to us. The leaves of trees don’t only take in sunlight but they breathe like we do. They filter out carbon dioxide and release life giving oxygen into the atmosphere. Prayer is like breathing with God. In the same way Jesus taught his disciples to pray, and the disciples taught the churches to pray, we ought to be teaching our children to pray.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

Modeling this kind of daily prayer with our kids teaches them about their relationship with God. Kids can rejoice in our savior. Kids can show gratitude for God’s many blessings. Kids grow in compassion by asking God to help hurting people. Kids can trust God to take care of them. Kids can have the peace of God guard their hearts (emotions) and minds (thoughts).

Pruning – Hardship

I hate to see my kids sick or suffering. And if someone is messing with them… look out! But in reality, if we want to see the fruit of the Spirit in our kids lives we have to help them understand hardship and how we handle it.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit… I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing… If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15: 1, 2, 5, 7-11

The truth is, life isn’t fair. I believe our job is to protect our youngest ones from harm and suffering, but as they grow we must teach them how to obey the rules for their own good. We don’t let our kids play in the street or eat ice cream for every meal. We don’t make a baby change his own diaper, but we eventually teach him to clean up after himself.

This submission to pruning is something we model to our kids. When you are seeking God’s will in prayer invite your kids into it. If they are old enough to pray they are old enough to help us pray for God’s wisdom in our lives as parents. They will see how we seek the Lord in our own hard times for guidance, wisdom, patience and provision. As they see God answering prayer in our lives they will connect with God in powerful ways. They understand more than we give them credit for.

I hope this has encouraged you to pray bold new prayers for your kids. Next time we’ll look at the second half of the verse and learn what it means to be a corner pillar cut for a palace.

Light

Posted on June 11, 2016Leave a comment

I often wonder why we use physical terms to describe feelings and emotions. I was thinking about light and dark a lot this week, in both physical and metaphysical expression. What is light? Is it the absence of darkness? What is darkness? Is it merely the absence of light? Is it proper to define a thing by the absence of its opposite? Is it possible to be light-hearted and dark-hearted at the same time? Is there some sort of shadow-heart in between?

What is the real relationship between darkness and light in the life of the believer? God often uses physical things to model and explain spiritual truths. Here are a few verses to meditate on today as you think about “light” and “darkness.” Where does the light come from? How does the light overcome the darkness? How do I live in the light?

In the Beginning

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. Genesis 1:3-5

God created all things. Best of all, He created us and lets us enjoy his creation. Without light, the light of the sun specifically, there would be no life. If the earth was just a little closer to to the sun we would scorch the earth with unbearable heat and just a little farther away the earth would be a frozen wasteland. It is astronomically improbable for there to be life on the earth, and yet here we are.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:1-5

John is speaking here of Jesus as the light. Darkness is in fact the partial or total absence of light, while light is itself a thing, measured as waves or particles. That is why the darkness cannot overcome light. The fact that we have visible light and a means to see it, gives us incredible insight into why Jesus called himself “the light of the world” and later called his disciple “the light of the world.”

In the Middle

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. John 1:9-13

“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” John 3:18-20

Light represents good and darkness represents wickedness and evil. Thieves wear black and work in the dark to hide their evil deeds. Angels wear white, brides wear white representing purity. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 11:14 that even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. This is why as Christians we must understand and discern the difference between darkness and light.

In the End

And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there. They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations. But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life. Revelation 21:22-27

No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:3-5

We currently have the Sun as our main source of visible light, but we only see it half the time. The rest is this thing called night. Again, the absence of light. What a great future we have to look forward to. The Lord God will be our light, no shadow anywhere. Pure goodness and glory at every moment. Never again having the fear of what hides in the dark or the darkness within ourselves.

See the Light

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud and said to him,“Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing. John 9:1-7

After being questioned twice by the Pharisees the formerly blind man answered them,

“Whether he is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see…” John 9:25

The enraged Pharisees kicked the formerly blind man out of the Synagogue. Jesus went and found him and he believed in Jesus. Then Jesus lays down some truth.

Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, “Are we also blind?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains.” John 9:30-41

One miracle that Jesus delighted to do over and over again is give sight to the blind. On the flip side of that, he was constantly calling the Pharisees “blind” because they refused to believe that he came from God. The Apostle Paul tells us where this blindness comes from:

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:3-6

Walk In the Light

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:5-7

We are fooling ourselves, just like the Pharisees, if we say we love God and then run into darkness and sin. We cannot excuse our evil, but must repent in the light in order for the blood of Jesus to cleanse us. We cannot be cleansed if we will not admit we are sinners in need of a Savior.

Be the Light

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. Ephesians 5:6-11

For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. 1 Thessalonians 5:5

Remember that Sunday school song from when we were kids…

“This little light of mine…
I’m gonna let it shine…”

How do we do that practically? Day to day we must see the light and walk in the light in order to be the light. I know this side of heaven we’ll never be able to do that perfectly, but with the help of the Holy Spirit we can draw closer to Jesus every day. I so desperately want this in my life. Paul just told us that “The fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true.” As the sun rises every day remember who you are, a child of the light, ask God for opportunities to shine your light so others can see Jesus.

Thanks for reading. I would love to hear from you so feel free to email me or leave a comment. What do you think about “the light?”

How Far do Prayers Go?

Posted on June 3, 2016Leave a comment

I’ve been reading Stephen King’s book On Writing again. He talks about how writing is the most distilled form of telepathy there is. It takes the thoughts in my mind, puts them on a page, and then you have the ability to literally read my mind across space and time. My thoughts go straight into your mind. I love the analogy and wholeheartedly agree.

I thought about this in relation to the Bible. It’s the thoughts of the mind of God, in written form. The only way we can know what God’s thinks is to read His word.

The difference between God and King is that I am able through prayer to make my thoughts known to God. I don’t even have to write them down. Even deeper than that, Psalm 139:1-6 tells us:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

Jesus tells his disciples in Matthew 6:8 we don’t need to use very many words because our Heavenly Father knows what we need before we ask him.

Jesus even demonstrated this a few times in the gospels when he would “know the thoughts” of the pharisees and scribes, and even the disciples on a couple of occasions, and answer their unsaid accusations and questions.

Prayers are not just hopes and wishes. Prayers are leaning our full weight of trust and faith on a God who is able to answer us. If we do not believe in the absolute sovereignty of God then why even bother praying?

God is good and kind and he desires repentance rather than sacrifice. His will is that all would come to repentance. When we pray for our loved ones to be saved, and even our enemies to be saved, we are asking God to impose his will above their own will to remain in selfish autonomy.

Does God do that? Does he take people by force for their own good and his own glory? You better believe it. He did it to Saul of Tarsus and for sure He did it to me.

Are any of us “saved” of our own “free will?”

I feel like we live our whole lives in a sort of Stockholm syndrome. I’m speaking through my general American lense here. I imagine things aren’t this way in every country and culture. This is my own bit of sociological musing. I’m getting a little philosophical here, but follow along…

We don’t ask to be born. As babies and children we are captives of our parents. We generally grow to love them over time because they care for us. Even abused and neglected kids form strong bonds with the people who raise them.

As youths and adolescents, we are captives of the current education system. A performance based reward and punishment system in which we don’t always understand the rules. Every teacher’s expectations and rules are a little bit different.

In young adulthood we finally see an escape hatch. We get to exercise “choice.” Decisions can be made to continue school and go to college, maybe get a job or learn a trade, perhaps join the military.

But once the choice is made we subject ourselves again to the oversight of more teachers, bosses, drill instructors/commanders.

Maybe you meet that special someone, get married, and again find yourself subjected to a will beyond your own. How well we get along in marriage is dependent on our ability to yield our wills to each other.

Perhaps you decide to have children and the cycle starts again but you’re on the other end this time. You bring unwitting innocents into the world according to your will, then you wonder at your own sanity as you clash wills with tiny people who can’t even wipe their own butts or pour a cup of milk without spilling.

But you love them. They may test your patience minute by minute, they may ruin your possessions and finances, they may even break your heart with careless words or ungrateful attitudes. But you love them.

By the time we reach our death beds our biggest hope is that we raised our kids well enough that we leave a good legacy and hope not many of our descendants end up in jail or as complete heathens.

What does all this have to do with prayer and God’s will? It’s about who we become when we surrender our will to God and about how we pray for those who haven’t surrendered to God yet.

It’s not magic, it’s surrender.

How does God save us? We just don’t know. One moment we are blind, and the next, we see! One moment our heart is stone, and the next, it’s alive. Not our physical heart, of course, but what we might call our soul.

When we pray for our friends and family to be saved, this is what we’re asking for. Spiritual life and vision. We are praying for them to surrender their will to God’s will. We love them so much we pray that God would take them by force if necessary.

For ten years we prayed for my dad, who professed Christ but was a “functioning” alcoholic. “Rock bottom” came a number of times, but surrender did finally come. God is gracious and amazing. My dad’s been surrendered to God for almost 13 years. He’s a changed man, and not just behaviorally, but on the inside.

There’s a friend of ours my husband and I have been praying for for 17 years. His wife is a believer but he says he’s agnostic. He respects our faith but he has never had any experience that would convince him of God’s existence. His family moved a few hours north of us last year.

When they moved I began praying that God would bring him more Christian friends in their new town. We visited them recently and they also invited a new couple they made friends with to the bbq we had. And is it any surprise that they are totally Christians? The husband even has almost the exact same celtic cross tattoo as my husband. Answers to prayer across time and space.

An answer to prayer like that is faith building. It’s not some crazy miracle, but if it is God’s will that people come to repentance is it any wonder when he answers a prayer that lines up with that will? So I will continue to pray on, for our friend and many other unsaved and prodigal friends and family who desperately need the love of God in their lives.

Who have you grown weary praying for? Take a minute and pray for them right now. Think about stories like Saul of Tarsus and the Theif on the Cross, who’s eyes were opened in an instant. Partner with God’s will for repentance and salvation. Keep on praying.

Meltdown

Posted on May 27, 20164 Comments

“Without enough water, the fuel rods get so hot that they melt. If they begin to melt the nuclear reactor core and the steel containment vessel, and release radiation into the environment, nuclear meltdown occurs.” (Phys.org)

So every four or five years I have a total identity crisis. This happened last week in the form of an emotional meltdown that took my by surprise. The stress and depression was too much to bear and I got to a very dark place inside.

I get the feeling I’m not who I’m supposed to be, not who I was meant to be and I’m definitely not who I intended to be…

For as long as I can remember (since like 2nd grade) I wanted to be an English teacher. I love poetry, prose, mystery, horror, essay, romance, fantasy, grammar, technical poetry, classics, biography, song lyrics, articles, letters, speeches…

And if not a teacher then maybe a writer or journalist, writing fiction or news.

And if not any of that then maybe an editor, helping others to tell their stories well.

What do I have to show for the last 22 years? The things I made in my early days as a home decor seamstress are falling to tatters by now I imagine. Either that or they’ve been replaced by new things in more current trends of style and color. I just don’t care about that stuff anymore.

And of course I’ve got no one to blame but myself. The choices I made. I could have finished high school. I could have stayed at home. I could have given my baby away. I could have stayed in college, for as long as it took, even part time. I wanted it, but not bad enough apparently.

Professionally, I don’t want to be where I am now. I feel trapped and powerless. But of course we’ve got both proverbial and literal bills to pay and mouths to feed.

With this blog I’ve cracked the shell and started writing again, but right now it feels aimless. I feel like it’s what God has called me to do, but week after week I see so few people interested or impacted by it. I feel like I’m firing arrows in the dark and constantly missing the mark.

There’s a line from a Supertones song that describes this feeling perfectly… “Who I am is in between what I want to be and what I am.”

I want to be strong but I am weak. I want to be influential for the Gospel but I feel like a squeaking mouse. I’m trying so hard to encourage other people with the things I need encouragement in, but at the end of the day I’m exhausted, just like you.

I don’t know if I should put my blog on hold so I can focus on the devotional I want to write or try to fight through and do both. I love the daily prayer journal I get to write but I want to do more, devote more time, make it even more specific and encouraging. My brain feels fried. My heart aches. Meltdown.

I suppose just because I have a gifting and a passion doesn’t necessarily mean it’s my calling. Maybe that’s my biggest fear.

I can’t imagine another 5 or 10 years of things continuing the way they are. Something’s gotta give. Something’s gonna break. I have a sinking suspicion it will be me. I already feel the first cracks.

I am grateful for the jobs I have, professional seamstress, as well as sales associate at a retail fabric store. I love my husband and children, they are the bright spots. They are my safe haven.

I’m sure this is all a case of “the grass is greener.” As I listen wistfully to friends of mine that are teachers I hear their struggles too. They strive daily to make a difference in kids lives. Sometimes they succeed but I hear the despair that underlies their own daily grind.

I listen to podcasts by bloggers and authors that seem to be living the life I want, and I hear that it takes hard work and dedication. I’m not afraid of hard work and dedication. But I’m afraid at the end of the day that no one will be listening. I’ll turn out be the tree, falling in the forest, making a bunch of noise but with no one around to hear.

I know God has me where I am for a reason. I know it takes time to build something new. I know I am sowing seeds for the future. I don’t know exactly what that future is at this point. I know I need to be patient and keep walking this valley. I know it won’t keep on like this forever. Things will change. Eventually…

I’m praying for patience, perseverance, faithfulness, and open eyes. The enemy wants to trap me in fear that leads to inaction. I won’t let him. The enemy wants me to hide in shame. I don’t have time for that kind of self consciousness, there’s work to do. Kingdom work.

My meltdown was last Thursday and I wrote the bulk of this then with no intention to publish it. Mostly I was just pouring my heart out to God and trying to coax the fears into the light where I could get a good look at their ugly mugs.

Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ve already got my “big girl” pants on. I didn’t post all this to make you feel sorry for me. I just want to be authentic and truthful, we all have bad days.

Last Thursday was wretched, but by God’s providence I came home to my husband, who loves me and cares when my heart is hurting. And that night we went to our church community group, a safe place, where my friends encouraged and prayed for me. As we are studying Joy it’s of course the thing we are all being tested in right now.

As I prayed this week in the fallout from that meltdown I was asking, “Daddy, what do you want me to do?” And God, being ever loving and always faithful, responded to me with such tenderness. I read my Bible like normal, I listened to a few sermon podcasts, and God’s clear word to me was, “Don’t give up. Don’t despair. I am with you. I’m going to give you everything you need. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop asking. Don’t let anything dilute the things I have put in your heart.”

Thanks for reading my little rant. I would really love to hear from you. Do you feel like you’ve found your calling?

John 5 Part 2 – Scandalous

Posted on April 29, 2016Leave a comment

Jesus had a great habit of intentionally upsetting the status quo. The Jewish Sabbath started out in the deserts of Egypt as a much needed day of rest for the weary Jewish nation that had been delivered from the enslaving clutches of Pharaoh. As time went on and the temple sacrificial system was established the Sabbath was a time for the Jews to reflect on their sin and God’s provision to cover those sins by the blood of bulls, goats and lambs. By the time Jesus walked the earth the Sabbath had become a day of rule keeping. Don’t do this, and don’t do that. So instead of celebrating the lame man’s healing on the Sabbath, the Jews cling tighter to their rules and persecute Jesus, who came to be the ultimate Sabbath Lamb.

Who Do We Have Here?

First we have Jesus. And Jesus is always first. Last time we well established that he came seeking this man, like a lost sheep, to heal him.

Next we have the invalid man. We don’t know how old he was, but we are told in verse 5 that he was there for 38 years. Verse 4 (in some manuscripts) tell us that the people by the pool were “waiting for the moving of the water; for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool, and stirred the water: whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water was healed of whatever disease he had.”

Then we have “the Jews.” This referred to the hardcore Jewish religious leaders, a.k.a. Pharisees, Sadducees, and Scribes, that were opposing Jesus in those days. They have very strong beliefs about their religion and the Sabbath rules. Their pride and legalism constantly blinded them to the truth of who Jesus was.

Breaking the Rules

And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.
Now that day was the Sabbath. So the Jews said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to take up your bed.” But he answered them, “The man who healed me, that man said to me, ‘Take up your bed, and walk.’” They asked him, “Who is the man who said to you, ‘Take up your bed and walk’?” (John 5:9-12)

This poor guy, just finally after 38 years of laying down, helpless, having to beg everyone else to do everything for him, stands up, picks up his bed, and walks… and gets pulled over for speeding!

Sabbath was a day of rest for the Jews, part of their covenant with God. They took it very seriously. God gave them one rule about it…

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” Exodus 20:8-11

The Jews were so bent on not breaking the Sabbath that they defined “work” with a list of their own rules in their own terms. The Talmud contains 39 categories of activity prohibited on the Sabbath. Even in current times they have so many systems in place to keep from breaking their own Sabbath rules, like elevators that stop at every floor so they don’t have to “work” by pushing a button. Despite continued modern observance of Sabbath rules, many have lost sight of the original purpose, a day to rest and trust in the Lord.

Sin no More

“Now the man who had been healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had withdrawn, as there was a crowd in the place. Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, “See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.” John 5:13-14

Maybe it was this man’s sin that originally landed him on that mat for 38 years. Is a “sin no more” lifestyle even possible in our modern day? I honestly can’t even drive on the freeway without sinning. Here’s a couple of encouraging scriptures about this.

“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:1-4

That’s the amazing part of the Good News! 1 Cor 6:11 says,

“And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

It is from a position of security in the love of Christ, knowing that he has already cleansed us, that we can overcome the persistent sins in our lives.

Sabbath Scandal

“The man went away and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had healed him. And this was why the Jews were persecuting Jesus, because he was doing these things on the Sabbath.” John 5:15-16

The Sabbath they accused him of breaking was actually fulfilled by him. Colossians 2:16-17 tells us

Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ.

So how does Jesus answer these accusations from the Pharisees concerning the Sabbath?

“But Jesus answered them, “My Father is working until now, and I am working.” This was why the Jews were seeking all the more to kill him, because not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.” John 5:17-18

After 38 years of rest Jesus’ words to the invalid were a call to trust that led to freedom. Sabbath rest is all about trusting that God is sovereign and will provide all we need as we rest in Him. Jesus is our Sabbath, so we can stop “working” at being so good, like the pharisees and just be in Christ.

Who are we in this miracle account? The lame man, waiting for a touch from Jesus? Healed and whole, walking in freedom? The religious rules lawyers that look down our noses in anger and people who don’t worship God exactly the way we do? Pray today and ask God to show you where there might be a tendency toward legalism in your heart, then confess and spend some time thanking Jesus for fulfilling all of the law that you couldn’t.

As always, thank you for reading. Share this with someone you know needs encouragement. And I’d love to hear from you, feel free to leave a comment below.

Functional Faith

Posted on March 11, 2016Leave a comment

Sometimes we talk about faith like it’s a muscle we exercise to make it stronger, but with how my muscles behave after exercise I’m not sure it’s a valid comparison. Maybe it is…. Does my faith get sore after heavy use? Does my faith need a rest day? Does my faith get injured if I use it too much? Nah.

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about “functional fitness” and I think there is a comparison to faith in that way. Do I have “functional faith?” Is my faith strong and well nourished so that when it needs to lift a heavy load or go a distance it can? Do we want “functional faith” as badly as we want “functional fitness?”

In our faith there is a deadlift coming. It’s not something we can just walk away from. It must be lifted. Someone is going to get sick. Someone is going to lose a job. Someone is even going to die.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Do we treat church on Sunday like the machines at the local Globo gym that isolate muscles and never teaches them to work together? Are we tracking steps but not going anywhere? Or do we use Church like the training grounds it’s meant to be? Barbells, and Kettlebells and Burpees? The burpees that knock us down and teach us how to get back up again.

Church is meant to be a safe place for faith to function so we don’t see our faith fail outside the walls. Do we stare ahead at the worship team just listening, or do we take a deep breath and explode with worship? Do we sit through the sermon internally complaining about the squeaky AC vent (guilty!) or do we concentrate on what the Spirit is trying to teach us? Do we pray like we mean it and believe God hears us, or do we pray just to make people feel better about life?

Are we apathetic? Do we shrug at the folks around us with a “glad it’s not me” attitude while they are carrying heavy burdens, or do we encourage them? “Good work!” “You got this!” “Keep your butt low and your chest up!” Or rather, “Let’s get on our knees and lift this up to the Lord!”

Tenacious G

There are two ways to fail. You either don’t try, or you fall and don’t get back up. Aside from being functional the word tenacious comes to mind. Here’s what “tenacious” means:

A strong grip or an unyielding advocate might both be described as tenacious, a word whose synonyms include resolute, firm, and persistent. The word comes from the Latin root tenax, which means “holding fast.” (vocabulary.com)

I want that kind of tenacious faith! The awesome thing is that God’s word show us that more often than us grabbing hold of God, He is the one who upholds us. Jesus is our unyielding advocate with a strong grip on us. Isaiah 41:10 says:

fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Church isn’t only a place to exercise our faith, but also a place to hear the Gospel that reminds us it is God who upholds us when we are weak. Our strength doesn’t come from inside ourselves, but rather comes from believing that God is holding us up, whether we are on our feet, on our knees, or curled up in the fetal position getting kicked in the gut by life.

Tenacious faith doesn’t stand up on it’s own like a pillar, it’s the ivy vine that clings to the pillar, and no matter how hard it gets pruned down, it always comes back. Tenacious! We don’t have enough strength, muscle, backbone, faith or anything else to stand on our own, but we can hold on for dear life to Jesus who does. Romans 8:35-38 gives us this hope:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What an awesome scripture to meditate on! If you’ve been encouraged by this today please feel free to leave a comment below or share this post. I appreciate you reading.

Resources

For Functional Faith check out Life Mission Church or a local Church near you this Sunday!

For Functional Fitness check out Crossfit 2.0 or a local Crossfit Box near you!

Posts Tagged with faith