Posts Tagged with love

How to Use Paul’s 8 Weapons of Righteousness

Corinthians
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My kids have a weapons rack. It consists of things like nerf guns, wooden and foam swords, sling shots, cardboard shields and armor, everything a little boy needs to defend his kingdom, storm the castle, slay the dragons, defeat the bad guys and rescue the princess. Even at their young ages they understand the battle between good and evil, heroes/superheroes and villains, light and darkness. They know the bad guys are selfish, mean and greedy while the good guys fight for what’s right and help the weak.

In our Christian lives God has given us the Weapons of Righteousness to fight for what’s right and help the weak. Let’s take a look at these weapons. We need them for ourselves and our children because the world isn’t getting any safer these days.

2 Corinthians 6:3-13

“We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.”

Weapons are offensive and we must learn to wield them with skill when the enemy comes at us. Paul gives us these 8 weapons “purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God,” and he says they are for the right hand and the left. We often face hardship both from outside and sadly from within the church. We must help each other, stand with each other. The same Spirit that has called us into the sheepfold has already equipped us with these weapons of righteousness. Let’s see how to use these weapons to defend ourselves on the right hand and encourage each other on the left hand.

  1. Purity

    Purity is the opposite of hypocrisy, and isn’t that the main complaint of the world toward the church these days? We know we will never achieve sinless perfection this side of heaven but we should be growing in these things. In our sanctification process it looks like living in a way that we believe our lives are meant for more than the gratification of our own physical pleasures. As Christ becomes more beautiful to us our sins will lose their luster.

  2. Knowledge

    Knowledge is so powerful because it silences ignorance. Do you know what the bible says? About sin? Salvation? Redemption? Jesus? Do you know what Jesus said in the bible? Jesus said some amazing things, and a lot of what he said was quoting the old testament. Jesus knew his bible. He also knew how and when to use the word of God. He shut down the enemy with skill when he was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. Satan doesn’t care about your opinions but if you know the Word then Satan can’t deceive you. The word is the sword! We must know it.

  3. Patience

    Patience is a great weapon in our “Have it your way right now” culture. Patience is also learned. We are born as babies and the first thing we do is cry until our needs are met. Hungry, cold, wet, tired, gassy. Our plump baby cheeks quivered until every little thing we wanted was given to us. And rightly so to helpless babies. The two’s are so terrible because in the maturing process it is when we must begin learning patience. Regular mealtimes, bedtime, potty training… It is the process of learning submission and obedience, but all for our own good. Grown ups with unmet expectations that refuse to exercise patience are truly the most miserable people and they make everyone around them just as miserable as a colicky baby that keeps everyone up all night. We sin when we look for shortcuts to our goals and desires. Use patience to show people you care about them enough to give them the time and space they need to function.

  4. Kindness

    Kindness opens doors that brute force will only shut tighter. The bible says it this way in Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Kindness is the opposite of being mean. At every turn of the corner Christ was showing kindness to the weak and exhausted people he met with. The apostles often got this wrong while Jesus was with them, trying to keep away children, hush the cries of blind men and send hungry people away to fend for themselves. By the time the book of Acts rolls around they got it. Every miracle in the new testament was birthed out of the kindness they learned from walking with Jesus. In a recent sermon Pastor Ron Ohst reminded us the kindest thing we can do for someone is put a hand on their shoulder and say, “Can I pray for you?” This can melt the hardened heart like wax.

  5. The Holy Spirit

    The Holy Spirit, the helper. Let’s face facts. We all need help. We look at this laundry list of afflictions and the endurance we need and say “Who can do this?!?” When Jesus left for heaven he said he wasn’t leaving us orphans but sending a helper, his Holy Spirit, to dwell in us. The Holy spirit is a lot like a light switch, the power is always there but not always “on.” We make a mistake thinking we can find our own way in the dark until we bang our shins on the proverbial coffee table of life and end up on the floor writhing in pain. Turn the lights on! Every day when you wake up, take a moment to pray and ask the Holy Spirit for help. He delights to help you.

  6. Genuine Love

    Genuine love is a rare gem. I could give you my opinion of what “genuine love” looks like but Paul lays it out perfectly for us in Romans 12:9-18,
    “    Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
    This attitude of genuine love applies in every aspect of life, in our families, workplaces, churches, and even the freeway. The strongest Christians I know are characterised by what Paul says, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation and constant in prayer.

  7. Truthful Speech

    Truthful speech. How does truthful speech give us endurance in afflictions? Again we must look at it as a weapon of righteousness. Jesus tells us where lies come from in John 8:44 as he address the religious leaders,
    “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
    The pharisees were unwilling to tell the truth about who Jesus was. Truthful speech calls us to the discomfort of telling people they have it wrong when they say Jesus was “just a good teacher” or “just a prophet.” There is power in telling the truth about Jesus, the power that leads to salvation. Paul was a pharisee bent on murdering Christians but he was converted to the truth of Jesus. He tells this truth clearly in 1 Cor 15:3-4,11
    “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures… Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.”
    The truth of the gospel sets captives free and turns enemies into brothers.

  8. The Power of God

    The power of God is the Gospel. Paul experienced this first hand when he was blinded on the Damascus road and he ultimately gave his life for it. Let’s hop scotch through his letters to the churches and see what he says about this power and the gospel…
    Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.
    1 Cor 1:18 For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
    1 Cor 1:24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God
    1 Cor 2:5 so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
    2 Cor 13:4 For he was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God.
    2 Tim 1:8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God,
    One of my favorite quotes is that “Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good, he came to make dead people alive.” -Ravi Zacharias. This is what the power of God working through the gospel of Jesus Christ does. Day in, day out.

I hope this has been an encouragement to you. Sometimes I feel like there is so much to do and I get so caught up in my own plans and my own little kingdom. I forget that God has saved me to be about his business. I forget that he’s already given me everything I need to do his will and his work. I forget that I’m in the Lord’s Army and I leave the house without my weapons and then I’m taken by surprise when the enemy comes at me. I want to be more intentional about having these weapons at the ready. Will you pray for me? I’ll be praying for you.



The 4 Reasons Why I Celebrate Christmas

Christmas
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Why I Celebrate Christmas

My faith is not blind. My favorite thing to read is my Bible. I know how weird that sounds, unless you’ve read the bible too. If you have, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s the unfolding of the human drama from creation to its future finish. The bible is not myth and legend made up by men. It’s a historical and prophetic account of a supreme being revealing himself to his estranged creation. It spans thousands of years and has 66 different authors all writing about one thing; the salvation of people by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus was a real man. The old testament prophesied the coming of a savior. Much of the old testament has been solidly backed up by archaeology. The new testament reveals Jesus as that savior. HIs life was so important that our very calendar is marked by his birth.

Modern secularists think that by separating ourselves from religion we become more “scientific” and “enlightened.” I believe the opposite is true, the more secular we become the more desperate we are to find meaning for our lives. It’s why suicide, drug abuse (illegal and rx), sexual promiscuity and “radical religion” are running rampant across the globe. We human creatures are so full of needs and wants. We are so restless. Our souls are at war with the God who created us, demanding that he make our lives easy and comfortable.

Jesus told us exactly why he came and I believe it is true.

And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read. And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,
  “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
  because he has anointed me
  to proclaim good news to the poor.
  He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
  and recovering of sight to the blind,
  to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
  to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” –Luke 4:16-21

Basically Jesus claimed to be the Messiah prophesied in scripture and then dropped the mic. Why are we so afraid to say about Jesus what he said about himself? I celebrate Christmas because what the angels told the shepherds the night he was born is true.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. –Luke 2:11

Why I Celebrate Christmas

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. –John 3:16

Jesus is the savior of the world, but he is also a personal savior. He spoke to large crowds, imparting truth, grace and wisdom but he also spoke to individuals. For 3 ½ years he poured his daily life into 12 men and a few close friends that included women like Mary and Martha. He healed individuals, lepers, blind, lame, and even the dead. I am part of a global family of God, the Church, but the bible also tells me I am a personally adopted daughter of the King.

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. –Galatians 4:4-7

Why I Celebrate Christmas

This Advent our focus at church has been joy. Joy is one of those things that can get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Christmas is a celebration! It’s a birthday party! Happy Birthday Jesus!

There is almost nothing more anticipated than the arrival of a baby. The birth of Jesus was no different. That night in Bethlehem, all those many years ago, an unwed teen gave birth to her own savior. Delivering a baby is scary and painful and miraculous and amazing. Almost as soon as we see those sweet baby cheeks and hear their first cries we begin to forget the pain of pregnancy and labor.

The amazing thing about Birthdays is no matter what else happened the day you were born it is still a special marker in time. A day set aside to reflect on another year of life past and to look forward to the next year ahead.

Before she gave birth this is what Mary said about her son,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for he who is mighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
And his mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
as he spoke to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”

Why I Celebrate Christmas

Emmanuel! God with us! Christ has come! We don’t need to look for anyone else. I celebrate Christmas with eyes wide open. I celebrate that light has come into the world and I want light instead of darkness in my life. I want peace instead of war in my soul. I want to worship a savior worthy of of my worship.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. –Colossians 1:15-20

Why do you Celebrate Christmas?

I hope these things have inspired and encouraged you this Christmas. For many the holidays are a time of hope and joy but for others it is difficult and sad. I pray that wherever your heart is this Christmas you will make room for Jesus. He loves you and longs for you to know him, not in a religious ritual or as a baby in a manger, but as your God and Savior, as your friend and as the bringer of peace to your soul.

I would love to know what Christmas means to you! Feel free to share in the comments. Thanks for reading!



Custom Fitted Calling

Corinthians
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Had a strange dream last night and woke up with thoughts of custom clothing. I was trying to fit into something that wasn’t made for me.

Buying dresses, and most clothing for that matter, is a nightmare for anyone who is not of average shape or size. I am 5’ tall, with wide hips, a big booty and a small waist. I have a very short torso but large breasts and broad shoulders. I also have a soft pot belly from having three kids and gaining and losing weight rapidly. It takes me hours of shopping and trying on dozens of items to find one thing that fits.

When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden and tried to cover their shame with fig leaves it was God who came, in mercy and love, and made them custom garments of animal skins to cover their nakedness.

Our robe of righteousness from Christ isn’t just one size fits all. He custom makes our lives to fit us. He custom makes our garments. Our gifts and callings. Our family and friends. Even our joys and hardships. I look at my husband and kids and can see how He made them just for me. And He made me just for them.

When Jesus performed healings and miracles he dealt with each individual in different ways, with just what they needed. To one he says “Take up your bed and walk.” To another he says “Stretch out your hand.”

There is a saying that comparison is the thief of joy. It is so true in every aspect of life, both the physical and the spiritual. We look at our neighbors and think, “I am poor.” But if you are reading this on any kind of technological device you are not poor. You might be broke, but by world standards you are not poor. We look at people in ministry and think, “I am not spiritual.” But if you have the Spirit of God living in you then you are spiritual. You might look at the people in your church who seem to have it all together and think, “I’m not good enough.” News flash! Aside from Jesus Christ not a single human on the planet is “good enough.”

In 1 Corinthians 12 the Apostle Paul has a great analogy! We are all one body by the Spirit in Christ, but we are not all the same body part! The foot can’t say “because I’m not a hand I’m not part of the body.” Also, the eye can’t say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” I think we are all interconnected in this amazing way and we just don’t take the time to understand who we are and how the body works. When we pray for persecuted believers in the world it’s like we are the knobby knees supporting the beaten back. When we give to the causes of things like Breath of Heaven Children’s Village in Zambia we are the hands putting soothing balm on the cracked, dry feet.

I want to challenge you today to take a couple minutes here, read all of 1 Corinthians 12 and pray. Ask God what His custom calling on your life is. What part of the body are you? What spiritual gifts has He custom tailored to fit your life? You are part of the body, you need the body and the body needs you!

1 Corinthians 12

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be uninformed.  You know that when you were pagans you were led astray to mute idols, however you were led. Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit.

 

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and here are varieties of service, but the same Lord;  and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

 

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

 

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

 

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

 

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But earnestly desire the higher gifts.

 

And I will show you a still more excellent way.

 

Thanks for reading! Comment and share if you’ve been encouraged.



Psalm 107 Part 6 – There is no God Like our GOD

Psalm 107
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I have loved going through Psalm 107 and using the truths within it to share my testimony of how God has been working in my life. The Lord has taken me from teenage desperation to learning the daily practice of trusting Him for my spiritual and practical needs. The conclusion of this Psalm offers continued hope to the children of God and a warning to the wicked who oppress His people.

In this passage there are so many threads of thought but I want to focus in on the water. One of my original purposes in starting this blog a couple years ago was to learn about all the wells in Scripture. While this isn’t a specific well, it is referring to water as one of our general provisions from God, a necessity for life and fruitfulness.

Psalm 107:33-43


He turns rivers into a desert, springs of water into thirsty ground,
a fruitful land into a salty waste, because of the evil of its inhabitants.
He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.
And there he lets the hungry dwell, and they establish a city to live in;
they sow fields and plant vineyards and get a fruitful yield.
By his blessing they multiply greatly, and he does not let their livestock diminish.
When they are diminished and brought low through oppression, evil, and sorrow,
he pours contempt on princes and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
but he raises up the needy out of affliction and makes their families like flocks.
The upright see it and are glad, and all wickedness shuts its mouth.
Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.

I believe that here in verses 33 and 34 it is a reference to Egypt. God plagued the land of Egypt by turning the Nile to blood. The Egyptians falsely worshiped the Nile as their giver of life and fruitfulness and God demonstrated that life and fruitfulness are really in his hands. God also turned the Red sea into dry ground to rescue his people from the evil and oppression of their slavery in Egypt then used it to bury their oppressors and stop the attack for good.

Flesh vs. Spirit

Psalm 107:35-38

He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.
And there he lets the hungry dwell, and they establish a city to live in;
they sow fields and plant vineyards and get a fruitful yield.
By his blessing they multiply greatly, and he does not let their livestock diminish.

Here again is God’s deliverance of his chosen people from the oppression of Egypt. He provided water in the wilderness for them, leading them to the oasis, and later bringing water from a rock, which was a picture of Christ. Then God gave them the land he promised by his covenant, a land for them to dwell in, make a home, and be his people so he could be their God. Where there is water there is a fruitful yield. Scripture refers to itself as water, but also to the Holy Spirit as water. If we want fruitful spiritual lives we must be regularly in the word and walking by the spirit and not the flesh. Paul wrote to the Galatians on this.

Galatians 5:16-26

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

One of the miraculous things about the word of God is that it is living water. The word of God doesn’t just give us information about God and Jesus. When it is poured over our hardened, dry hearts it actually transforms us, makes us new. It takes what is dead and makes it alive! Instead of fruit to the flesh we begin to produce fruit of the spirit. We don’t accomplish this by trying harder, but rather by daily sinking our roots deep into the gospel.

 

Suffering

Psalm107:39-42

When they are diminished and brought low through oppression, evil, and sorrow,
he pours contempt on princes and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
but he raises up the needy out of affliction and makes their families like flocks.
The upright see it and are glad, and all wickedness shuts its mouth.

 

This Psalm mentions three reasons for suffering in the lives of God’s people, oppression, evil and sorrow. These things diminish us by subtracting from us joy and happiness. They bring us low by crushing our hopes and dreams. The contempt of God is poured out on the evil and wicked.

Oppression

Oppression, refers to physical suffering at the hands of evil rulers and spiritual suffering at the hands of spiritual dark forces, also known as spiritual warfare. These causes are largely out of our control, though some pagan and occultic practices can invite spiritual oppression into our lives. One advantage we have as new testament believers is what Paul describes in Ephesians 6 as spiritual armor. The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, shoes of gospel peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the Spirit and all prayer. If you’ve never studied the spiritual armor in Ephesians 6 I encourage you to pick up a bible study on it. You will be so blessed to learn that God doesn’t save us to leave us defenseless, but rather He equips us for battle with His gospel by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Evil

Evil affects all of mankind. It began at the Garden with Eve’s selfish desire to be like God, to be made all wise, to know good and evil. In the beginning, Adam and Eve only knew good. Having their eyes opened to evil set mankind on a track of death and destruction that is still running it’s course today. Evil rulers, men of war conquering and snuffing out whole races or religions, enslavement of whole people groups, criminals who murder, steal and rape, the sex trafficking industry and the porn industry that fuels it. The really discouraging thing to me is that these are still current issues. Mankind would like to think he is educated and enlightened, but we all feed the system. One thing we cannot do, despite the discouragement, is blame God for the evil in people’s hearts. When we ask the question, “If God is love then why is there evil in the world?” we are asking the wrong question. The question we need ask is, “If I am evil, why does God love me?”

Romans 5:8 is our gospel answer:

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Sorrow

Sorrow paints a picture in my head of Atreyu trudging through the Swamp of Sadness in the Neverending Story, all hope lost as the Nothing ravaged his world. Feelings of failure, grey skies in every direction with no hope that the sun will ever shine again. Loved ones have died, sickness abounds, friends have backstabbed us, we had hopes and dreams of what our lives would look like and we’ve failed to accomplish those things. Daily pain clouds every moment. We fail and hurt the people we love most. We try our hardest and it just isn’t good enough. I include myself in these struggles. But scripture promises joy beyond and even in our sorrows.

Psalm 30:5

For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

Ironically there can be no rescue without affliction. God can’t meet our needs if we have no needs. Water means nothing if there is no thirst. Without death there can be no resurrection.

Contempt

Here is God’s warning to those who would oppress his people and refuse his grace. The wrath of God is poured out, just like the spirit of God. To those who believe that Jesus died to cover their sins and that he took on himself the wrath of God in our place, they will never know or feel the desolation of the contempt of God. God is love, but that love requires him to be a righteous judge. The prideful who stand in front of him and say, ‘I don’t need your grace’ will not have the righteous life, death for sin and resurrection glory of Christ covering their sins when the contempt of God is poured over them. Instead of water to refresh and wash them clean it will be like acid melting them away down to the bone. The gospel tells us not only are we saved from our own sin, but also from the very justified wrath of God.

Romans 5:9

Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

Friends this is why we must be about the business of proclaiming the gospel every chance we get! It’s like handing people a “wrath of God hazmat suit.” We can’t save ourselves, we must be covered by the righteousness that Christ gives us.

A Call to Community

Psalm 107:43

Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.

This whole psalm uses the language of community and family. While God loves you and me personally and saves you and me individually, we are the children of God together! I hope you are plugged into a church body and even part of something like a community group or home bible study. We need each other’s encouragement and constant reminders of the hope we have in the Gospel. It’s also where we get equipped and encouraged to share the good news of this gospel. We are at our spiritual weakest when we are isolated from God’s people. Together let us consider the steadfast love of the LORD.

Psalm 107 has shown us that God finds the lost wanderers, delivers the captives, rescues the prisoners, feeds the hungry, gives water to the thirsty, heals with his word, stills the storm, shepherds his people and leads them home. Let’s rejoice and remind ourselves and our children daily of the steadfast love of the LORD!

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PSALM 107 PART 4 – FOOLISH IDOLATRY & REDEMPTION JOY

Psalm 107
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In my last post I laid myself bare. The sin I fell in, the sin I walked in, the sin I reveled in. Because of these things I became a captive. Though I was a child of God I lived foolishly, according to my own selfish desires, until I ultimately reached a breaking point. Rock bottom as many put it. The thing I failed to see back then that I recognize now was what God was testing in my heart. Though I loved God and knew He loved me, the problem I had was ultimately a worship problem. Idolatry.

Psalm 107:17-22

Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy! 

When God led the Isrealites to Mt. Sinai in the wilderness to give them His law they were breaking the first commandment before it even came down written in stone. In their foolishness they begged for something to worship, then made an idol,a golden calf, and worshipped that while the living God himself was just up the hill.

In verse 19 of this psalm God delivers His people when they cry out, and verse 20 tells us the means by which He did so. He sent His word. It doesn’t say they obeyed his word, but that He sent it and that it healed them and delivered them. Wow. Powerful.

At that time in my life I ate and drank the word of God like a baby hungry for milk. I was spiritually sick and broken and it was my medicine. It was sweet to me and I couldn’t get enough. It was the living water of the word that began healing my self inflicted sin wounds, washing away guilt and shame, teaching me to worship in spirit and in truth.

God, in his divine irony, also brought me an unforeseen love. I wasn’t looking for it, but as I began spending more time with my best friend I got to know her brother even better. I had already known him for years and he’d seen the worst I had been through. We would all hang out and play board games on Saturday nights then meet at church on Sunday and have coffee after. My best friend’s brother was shy and good and humble. He loved the Lord and the word and his family. Tough on the outside but tenderhearted and funny. A big difference from the other “bad boys” I had dated. However, the enemy taunted me, how could a good Christian boy like that ever love a broken, used up, single mom like me? He was already a good friend and if something went wrong I could lose him and my best friend too.

He and I started having long email conversations throughout the week and then we would cautiously flirt on game night. I began praying and asking God if there was a possible relationship with him. The more I prayed the clearer it became. Not an exact directive from the Lord, I knew the choice would ultimately be mine, but I saw God showing me safe haven. That I could have a healthy, Godly relationship. Another chance. Grace to start new. And that if I chose it He would give me the desires of my heart.

One summer night he and I had a long, honest conversation. We found out we had both been praying about each other. We talked about what our future might look like if we started dating… Marriage… Probably… Family… Possibly if the Lord wills it… Life… Together… The very next day, my 21st birthday, he told me he loved me.

I didn’t know how to be the woman I should be but I knew I never wanted to be the prodigal I had been. It’s been 17 years since that night and we’ve never looked back. On our 6 month dating anniversary he proposed and a year and a half later, after he graduated from college, we got married. When we started dating he was a virgin, and only by the grace of God was he a virgin until our wedding night. He insisted that our love would be stronger without sex. It wasn’t that he didn’t “want to,” but rather that he knew he could love me without that and I think he knew I needed to learn how to love without that as well.

This is part of my redemption story. That God would give a woman like me a man like him. My husband so boldly demonstrated Gods love in my life by loving me when I didn’t deserve it. Loving me despite my broken places. He knew my past. He knew my baggage. He loved me anyways. He loved my daughter as well.

We can’t use other people to make us happy. We can try, but it is foolishness, selfishness and idolatry. We end up wrecking ourselves and others. God’s word says true love is giving our lives for one another, not taking as much as we can from each other to get our own needs met or feel happy. When we build each other up in the word we gain true Godly wisdom, selflessly serving each other instead of the self serving foolishness of trying to get our own comfort at each other’s expense. This applies in dating, marriage, with kids, with our parents and pastors and bosses too. It’s drinking deep of the word of God that heals us. Then in our gratefulness we share our joy, we can turn around and say, “My soul is well! How can I help your soul know the love of God today?”



Psalm 107 Part 3 – Captivity & the Shadow of Death

Psalm 107
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We continue with part 3 of our look at Psalm 107, The Captives. This is the hardest part of my testimony to share, it’s me at my worst, it’s the lies I believed and the sin I let myself have, but because of God’s work in my life through these things it gets Him the most Glory. Sometimes we think we are isolated in our struggles, but if you have struggled through any of these things please know that there is hope. The sins that we think disqualify us to be Christians are the very sins that Christ died for, covered with his own blood and then rose from the dead to set us captives free!

Psalm 107:10-16

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons, for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High. So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor; they fell down, with none to help. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.

To quote one of my favorite pastors, James MacDonald, “When God says don’t, He means don’t hurt yourself.” Who are these prisoners? Captives of consequence. Bound in chains to the circumstances brought on because they “rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High.” God never sent a consequence to his people that he did not first warn them about. Have you ever ignored good advice? Have you ever made up in your own mind that your way is the best way regardless of what anyone says? Have you ever let yourself be led off into sin because it was easier, more fun or more pleasurable than doing what is right? I have!

For example, when we were youngsters and our parents taught us not to touch a hot stove. The conversation in our mind might go something like this…

‘Mom says I will burn my hand but what does that actually mean? A burn can’t possibly be what she says it is. In fact I want to touch the stove because I think it will be good for me and she wouldn’t want to keep something good away from me. I think when mom says don’t touch the stove she’s trying to have all the fun herself. I just want to be like mom. She touches the stove every day and it doesn’t hurt her. If I just touch the stove my parents will see how good it is for me. They are wrong and I am right and now I must show them that… Waaaaaaaaaa! What is this PAIN???!!! It’s the end of the world! I’m going to die! I wish I had obeyed! I never would have felt this PAIN! Why didn’t they MAKE me obey? It’s their fault I’m in this pain. Life will never be the same again. Waaaaaaa!’

And here comes mom with the burn cream. Crying, heartbroken. Her precious little one is in PAIN. They did their best to keep the little one on the right path but some children must “learn the hard way.” Even though the child hurt themselves in disobedience the parents come to the child’s rescue, doing everything possible to aid in the healing and restoration of that child. In time the wound will heal but that burn will leave a scar. A reminder of a lesson in obedience, mercy and love.

God is no different. Many people think God is angry in the Old Testament and forgiving in the new, but the Bible reveals to us that He was a loving and merciful Father from before the foundation of the world. And in His love He warns us… In proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” It was that way from the beginning.

Consider Genesis 3:1-13

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Temptation. Deception. A liar from the beginning. Satan using Gods word in a twisted way to convince us that we can meet a spiritual need in a physical way. This indeed leads to death. And when sin doesn’t lead to the “freedom” we want we blame anyone and anything but ourselves.

 

My Captivity

Shortly after I gave my heart to Jesus I fell into sexual sin with the boy who had invited me to that concert I got saved at. (I share that in my previous post.) When I asked him, “Doesn’t God say this kind of stuff is wrong?” His answer was that we were in love and God would want us to feel good together. My raging hormones didn’t put up much of a fight. But after a couple of months I felt awful. Then I found out from another mutual friend that he had bragged about being with me. At that point in my very short Christian walk I didn’t know much about repentance but I knew I needed to end the relationship and get away from him. I asked my mom in January if she could start taking me to a local Calvary Chapel.

I was wary of high school boys so instead of going to youth group I sat in church with all the “grown ups.” I loved it! There was fun worship music and good bible teaching. My mom and my brother got saved right away. Over time my dad saw such a difference in our lives he eventually got saved too. He did continue to struggle with alcoholism for 10 more years, but finally surrendered to God. My parents story is a crazy amazing example of the grace and mercy of God. Click here to read their testimony, how my mom stayed with him, prayed for him, and now he’s been sober for 10 years and has served in Drug and Alcohol ministry and men’s ministry, helping others find freedom and God’s grace for daily living. It still blows me away.

In the meantime I met a friend who was into drugs. It started as innocent fun and I tried a bunch of different stuff with her, but to make a long story short my drug of choice was meth. I had God and church but no real close Christian friends so I just let myself be led away… I began living a double life. I was using drugs and smoking cigarettes, constantly angry at my dad for all the drinking and turmoil at home. But I still maintained the good church girl image… For a while.

I met another boy, a Christian boy. He confronted me about the drugs, said he came from a similar background, and he helped me get clean. Then we got involved sexually too. I would wrestle with God in prayer. Why can’t I just be good? Why do I keep messing up and giving in?

In Romans 7:15 Paul aptly describes this struggle,

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

I can’t exactly recall how but for some reason we thought it would be fun to have an 8ball for my birthday that year. (1/8 of an ounce or 3.5 grams of speed.) We decided we would use together just that one time and never again. And you can already tell where this is going.

It was my junior year of HS. I was 16 now. My boyfriend was a senior, 18. My parents didn’t like him but we were in love and it was serious. We fell into this terrible double life together. We would repent and be good for a while then we would slip, into drugs or bed or both. I was using meth as a weight loss aid, along with an eating disorder. I had terrible self image and struggled with my weight since I was about 12. On meth I didn’t eat. When the meth ran out I would eat and purge. After months of that the girl in the mirror looked skinny but I still felt fat And generally worthless. It was a slow suicide, but it was mine. I believed that my sin wasn’t hurting anyone else… Until I found out in February of 1994 that I was pregnant.

We got clean. I stopped throwing up. I started eating and sleeping again. I believe 100% that God in his providence used that pregnancy to save my life. If it weren’t for my daughter I would be dead.

One of the worst days of my life was the day I told my parents I was pregnant. My mom literally didn’t speak to me for three weeks. The next worst was when we told our pastor. My boyfriend had asked me to marry him. It was such an emotional roller coaster. My plans for college and my ideal future crumbled before my eyes. But the thought of being married and being a family made me feel so happy. We started going to the pre-marriage class through our church. My boyfriend was going to graduate and get a good job and save up some money so we could have a little wedding and get our own place. I couldn’t wait to get away from my parents.

You know the sound Velcro makes when you separate it? Little by little my boyfriend started pulling away. When our daughter was about 3 months old he tried to break up with me. I didn’t let him. I didn’t understand at the time but I was so co-dependent. I freaked out and kept showing up with our baby. I really wouldn’t take no for an answer. He stayed with me but we ended up getting back into the wrong crowd and using and partying again. We were horrible together but I was so afraid to lose him. I was still captive. I was still trying to make physical things fix my spiritual needs.

Shortly after our daughters first birthday I left him. He had made life miserable. He became so distant and apathetic. He had moved in with one of his friends that hated me. I never felt welcome there. He would go out and party but by then I was working full time and still living at home. I sought solace in the word of God and found myself falling more and more in love with Jesus and realizing how much fear of responsibility my boyfriend had. I knew that we just were not going to end up together.

I was ok for a while. I knew God had something better for me. But over the next three years I had several relationships. All them involved sexual or drug sin in one way or another. I was still in darkness and rebellion, in chains. Captive. Still trying to fill my emptiness with things that could not truly satisfy. I questioned if I was even saved.

In January of ’98 I finally surrendered. I was so broken and empty. I felt God calling to me, like He did to Adam and Eve in the garden, “Where are you?” I finally stopped hiding from God. Laid my heart bare before Him. I gave up on trying to make myself free and let God break those chains. I cried out to God, begging for His will in my life because I was making such a radical mess of everything myself. It got better. Little by little. I became free. The freedom was not in having the sin I wanted, but in finally letting it go.

I sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, a prisoner in affliction and in irons, for I had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High. So he bowed my heart down with hard labor; I fell down, with none to help. Then I cried to the LORD in my trouble, and he delivered me from distress. He brought me out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst my bonds apart. I thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.

Galatians 5:16-25 makes an important contrast.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

My walk with Jesus has been a slow trek. There is no way to rush Christian maturity and there is never an end to our sanctification process in this life. But God, in His great love and mercy, adopts us as His children and then teaches us, patiently, how to crawl, then stand, then walk, then fight, then fly. This is the definition of Sanctification. As we strive to keep in step with the Spirit we often stumble in the process but He never kicks us when we’re down. He uses us to help each other. We are blind to our own failings, we need each other. We need to let ourselves be humbled so that we can see how much He truly loves us and let Him bring the freedom we so desperately desire.

Next up in Psalm 107, The Prisoners and the next part of my testimony. How God redeemed the worst of me.

Thanks for reading.



Psalm 107 Part 2 – The Wanderers & Giving Thanks

Psalm 107
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Our walk through Psalm 107 continues with Part 2, the Wanderers. I also share my conversion experience and some of the events leading up to it. It is important to look back, to remember why I am who I am today. I am an adopted daughter of God by grace alone through faith alone.  And sometimes I take that for granted. I really want to take this time to thank God for His steadfast love and the miraculous things He has done in my life. I once was lost but now I’m found and it’s the thing I’m most thankful for.

Psalm 107:4-9

Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Verses 4-9 tell us a general story about some folks wandering in the desert. Their situation gets so desperate. They have no homes, no food, no water and no hope. They cried out to God and he delivered them. He led them home. He proved his love for them not only by providing physical security but he satisfied the deepest longing and hunger of their souls. They were so thankful they made sure the next generation, the children of men, knew all about it.

What does it mean to wander? The Dictionary.com app (Websters) lists many definitions, but here are just a couple:
1. to ramble without a definite purpose or objective
2. to go aimlessly, indirectly, or casually; meander
3. to extend in an irregular course or direction

This passage doesn’t tell us how these folks ended up in the desert, just that they were wandering there. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years. The amazing thing is that it was God himself, by way of deliverance through Moses, who led them into the wilderness. Often I wonder why God does something, and many times there are no answers, but there are a couple of scriptures that tell us exactly why God led them into the desert.

Exodus 13:17-18 tells us

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.” But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.

It seems like God led them on a hard path to protect them from something worse. He did this because he knew the fear in their hearts. The Philistines were an enemy that they were not prepared for yet and if they had returned to Egypt pharaoh would have been shooting fish in a barrel. Is it possible God took them through a lesser trial to prepare them for a greater trial later? Probably. Do lesser trials seem lesser at the time? Not really.

Exodus 14:1-4

Then the LORD said to Moses, “Tell the people of Israel to turn back and encamp in front of Pi-hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, in front of Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea. For Pharaoh will say of the people of Israel, ‘They are wandering in the land; the wilderness has shut them in.’ And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, and the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD.” And they did so.

Why did God put their backs against the proverbial wall? Did you catch it? To get glory over the enemy. To display his absolute providence in the affairs of man and to show his people that despite their lack of faith he keeps his promises.

We all know what happens next. I encourage you to read Exodus 14. The details of this account are so incredible. God made a straight path where there was no path. Then in Exodus 15 is their song of triumph. Like Psalm 107:8 says, they praised God and his wonderous works and his steadfast love to themselves and their children.

Later, when they needed water he led them to the oasis, then when they needed food he rained down daily bread from heaven. When they refused to enter the promised land because of fear he still took care of them for 40 years in the desert, leading and providing everything they needed. Even their shoes didn’t wear out. He waited for the right time when the next generation, the little children who had come through the Red Sea, were grown and ready for the battles ahead.

Deuteronomy 8:2-3 tells us WHY

And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

Sound familiar? The last half of verse 3 is what Jesus quoted in Matthew 4:4 to Satan who tempted him to make bread from stones after the Spirit had led him to the wilderness for 40 days of fasting.

The wilderness times in our lives are an opportunity, not to starve, but to see the mighty hand of God deliver us. He humbles us. He lets us hunger. Then he feeds us. Why? To make us know that physical bread isn’t the only thing we need. To make us know that we can’t meet our spiritual needs with physical things.

Here’s a glimpse into the wilderness of my youth and how God saved me at age 15.

I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church. I know there are some awesome Catholic’s out there who know and love the Lord, but it wasn’t that way for me. I was baptized as an infant, went to catholic school, catechism classes, learned all the rules, memorized the Our Father, said the fastest Hail Mary this side of the Rockies, received my first communion, went to confession (a lot), and still had no idea why Jesus mattered.

I remember most Sunday’s sitting in the pew next to my mom and spinning her wedding ring round and round her finger, watching the light glint off the diamonds while the priest droned on in the background. If I misbehaved my dad would take me outside and make me face the wall. He admitted to me in recent years that it was as much a relief for him as it was a punishment for me. I did like the songs and the stained glass. I loved the statues, Mary, and St. Francis, always looking so holy and peaceful. But church was what we did on Sunday with no more mention of God during the week except for fish stick Fridays during lent.

I met my own personal wilderness when I was 14. I was very close to my grandma on my mom’s side. Grandma Z. She was tough but fun. She babysat me a lot when I was little. Then later when I was a pre-teen she would stay the night with us in my room. It was like a sleep over, we would talk and giggle. We played gin rummy and sometimes after my bath she would rub Nivea lotion into my little arms and legs. She was one of my best friends. But she was sick. As I watched her health declining I prayed, really the only time I remember praying something I hadn’t memorized. I knew she was going to die but I would beg God to let her live till I was 16.

A couple months after my 14th birthday she went into a care facility and never made it back out. It was my freshman year of high school, almost Thanksgiving. I was under a heavy load of full honors, AP/IB college prep classes. I went numb. I stopped doing homework. I would sit in the back of class and try to pay attention but if I wasn’t crying I would make myself fall asleep to escape the grief that was eating my soul. I was mad at God. How could he just take her away from me like that? The whole family started making excuses to not go to church. It was a busy season. Dad was golfing more and drinking more, mom was dealing with the grief of her mom passing in her own way, and my little brother was a typical nuisance. Somehow we all made it through the holidays, then just before Easter Grandpa B, my dad’s dad, passed away, ironically from alcoholism complications. Life went pretty quickly to hell after that.

I dressed in Sunday best for Easter, we all went to mass with my Grandma B, put on smiles and choked down communion. But I felt dead inside. It was the last communion I would partake of until later after God saved me. My dad’s drinking really escalated after that. He managed to hang on to his job but was drinking every night and binge drinking away nearly every weekend. My mom’s way of escaping his madness was to take us kids out shopping. One of the things she would never deny me was books. I used that to my advantage and had her buying me books on alternative spirituality and the occult. It was something I had already been into and at that time I gave myself to it completely. Astrology, eastern meditation, astral projection, Ouigi, dream control and interpretation, Tarot card reading, crystals. I bought into it all. I even had an incense altar to the Goddess in my room that I hid from my parents. I became a pagan, a witch.

I was wandering in the wilderness, so hungry and thirsty, desperate for love and power, some scrap of control in my life that felt so out of control. The more spirituality I tried to stuff into my soul the emptier I became. I started looking for a coven to join.

One day a concerned friend asked me if I had ever accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and savior. My answer to that was “I know all about God, I was baptized and went to church enough. I’m a good person.” I remember seeing Jesus at the Mission every Christmas at mass. There was the typical nativity, but there was always this one huge statue of him all bloody hanging on the cross. It actually kind of freaked me out. But she invited me to a youth group event and I decided to go, wondering if maybe there was something I missed.

People there were happy, welcoming, and having fun. So much different than my previous church experiences. She asked if I would like to go to bible study sometime. I was still very skeptical, a proclaimed agnostic, but I found myself agreeing to go. Over the next couple of months I went every week and though I was mostly confused I was also drawn in. I really wanted to understand what they were talking about.

On October 20th 1992 I went to a big Christian music concert at Kit Carson park in Escondido. The only reason my folks let me go was because it was sponsored by a local church. I went with one of my guy friends and his group of buddies. It was incredible. So many people. Awesome music. Lots of moshing and head banging. Then, after “Die Happy” but before the headliners “The Crucified”, a guy got up and gave his testimony. He talked about the fences we build in our hearts. How we want to know God but we want to stay safe so we just sit on the fence without choosing one side or the other. I felt like he was talking only to me! In that moment my heart burst wide open, I didn’t want to be mad at God anymore! I didn’t want to be lost and empty anymore! Hot tears rolled down my cold cheeks in the dark, in the crowd. He invited anyone who wanted to know Jesus to come to the stage for prayer. I ran. I think I was the second or third kid up there out of maybe 30 or so. It was bright and loud… We all went to a grassy area at the side of the stage where they gave us a copy of the New Testament and we prayed.

My friends were so excited. The guy who had invited me to that concert invited me to go to church with him the next Sunday. I started getting up really early on Sunday’s to go and my folks thought I was crazy. I kept going to the weekly bible study with my other friend and was amazed at how much more sense the bible made. I felt like things were going to get better. I started doing better in school. I felt like I had a future again.

I wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, my soul fainted within me. Then I cried to the LORD in my trouble, and he delivered me from my distress. He led me by a straight way till I reached a city to dwell in. I will thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Do you remember when He saved you? I’d love to hear about it, feel free to share in the comments.

 



Psalm 107 Part 1 – The Redeemed of the Lord Say So!

Psalm 107
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psalm 107:1-3

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
whom he has redeemed from trouble
and gathered in from the lands,
from the east and from the west,
from the north and from the south.


This is the beginning of the psalm that opens Book 5 of the Psalms. Did you know there were five books of Psalms? Me neither… until I read this one. The ESV Study Bible notes that Psalms may have been divided as an imitation of the five books of the Pentateuch (the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures). The last Psalm in each of the five books ends with a doxology (an exclamation of praise to God,) and the last, Psalm 150, is the doxological conclusion of Book 5 and the entire Book of Psalms.

Psalm 107 is poetry, written in it’s own repetitive sections. The first three verses here introduce us to the Lord who is good. He loves, redeems and gathers people. Then there are 4 sections that begin with the word “Some” in reference to types of people. The last section holds a warning for the wicked and encouragement for the needy. Each section is a story of rescue and redemption. It is a beautiful call to thank and praise God as He rescues us from a variety of “trouble.”

all encompassing

The compass directions in verse 3 foreshadow what is to come. If you look at a map of the Middle East in ancient times we see what is located in those directions. Verse 4 says “Some wandered in desert wastes…” To the east we see a vast expanse of desert, where a man named Abram was called out of Ur to a land he didn’t know. Verse 10 describes “Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons…” To the west we see Egypt, a dark time of captivity for Gods people. Verse 17 tells us “Some were fools through their sinful ways…” and north is the lands of Cannan, desperate idolatry and opposition to God’s people. Verse 23 says “Some went down to the sea in ships…” And to the south we indeed see the sea, a source of commerce. Each section is filled with calamity but in the center of each “Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” The means of deliverance are explained and then the end of each sections repeats “Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of men.” 

The testimony of god’s children

In a series of posts we’ll walk through the implications of each of these and how we can see the wondrous works of God in our lives and have a deep thankfulness for his love toward us. We’ll see people snared by circumstances beyond their control, as well as trouble they brought on themselves. They will cry out to God and He will deliver them. This Psalm has been deeply encouraging to me as I look back at the course of my own life. I will be sharing some of the darkest times in my own past, how I went my own way, found myself trapped, cried out to the Lord, and how He delivered me, rescued me, and redeemed me, even at my lowest, worst and most broken. Not because I deserved it, but because He is a good God full of compassion and mercy. And I am thankful to the LORD! I will share the testimony of my past wreckage, not to glorify it, but in order to glorify the God who saved me from it. I hope to make myself small and to show you how big and glorious He is.

are you the redeemed of the lord?

If you are then let’s give thanks to him, out loud right now, “Thank You God!”
If you are not, then why not? Look at your life and ask God to open your eyes to his wondrous works on your behalf. When did he rescue you from trouble? He is not an angry judgmental old man waiting for you to fail so he can punish you. He is good, and his steadfast love endures forever!

Thanks for reading. I would love to read your comments below.



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