God – Page 2 – Smallchelle

Meltdown

Posted on May 27, 20164 Comments

“Without enough water, the fuel rods get so hot that they melt. If they begin to melt the nuclear reactor core and the steel containment vessel, and release radiation into the environment, nuclear meltdown occurs.” (Phys.org)

So every four or five years I have a total identity crisis. This happened last week in the form of an emotional meltdown that took my by surprise. The stress and depression was too much to bear and I got to a very dark place inside.

I get the feeling I’m not who I’m supposed to be, not who I was meant to be and I’m definitely not who I intended to be…

For as long as I can remember (since like 2nd grade) I wanted to be an English teacher. I love poetry, prose, mystery, horror, essay, romance, fantasy, grammar, technical poetry, classics, biography, song lyrics, articles, letters, speeches…

And if not a teacher then maybe a writer or journalist, writing fiction or news.

And if not any of that then maybe an editor, helping others to tell their stories well.

What do I have to show for the last 22 years? The things I made in my early days as a home decor seamstress are falling to tatters by now I imagine. Either that or they’ve been replaced by new things in more current trends of style and color. I just don’t care about that stuff anymore.

And of course I’ve got no one to blame but myself. The choices I made. I could have finished high school. I could have stayed at home. I could have given my baby away. I could have stayed in college, for as long as it took, even part time. I wanted it, but not bad enough apparently.

Professionally, I don’t want to be where I am now. I feel trapped and powerless. But of course we’ve got both proverbial and literal bills to pay and mouths to feed.

With this blog I’ve cracked the shell and started writing again, but right now it feels aimless. I feel like it’s what God has called me to do, but week after week I see so few people interested or impacted by it. I feel like I’m firing arrows in the dark and constantly missing the mark.

There’s a line from a Supertones song that describes this feeling perfectly… “Who I am is in between what I want to be and what I am.”

I want to be strong but I am weak. I want to be influential for the Gospel but I feel like a squeaking mouse. I’m trying so hard to encourage other people with the things I need encouragement in, but at the end of the day I’m exhausted, just like you.

I don’t know if I should put my blog on hold so I can focus on the devotional I want to write or try to fight through and do both. I love the daily prayer journal I get to write but I want to do more, devote more time, make it even more specific and encouraging. My brain feels fried. My heart aches. Meltdown.

I suppose just because I have a gifting and a passion doesn’t necessarily mean it’s my calling. Maybe that’s my biggest fear.

I can’t imagine another 5 or 10 years of things continuing the way they are. Something’s gotta give. Something’s gonna break. I have a sinking suspicion it will be me. I already feel the first cracks.

I am grateful for the jobs I have, professional seamstress, as well as sales associate at a retail fabric store. I love my husband and children, they are the bright spots. They are my safe haven.

I’m sure this is all a case of “the grass is greener.” As I listen wistfully to friends of mine that are teachers I hear their struggles too. They strive daily to make a difference in kids lives. Sometimes they succeed but I hear the despair that underlies their own daily grind.

I listen to podcasts by bloggers and authors that seem to be living the life I want, and I hear that it takes hard work and dedication. I’m not afraid of hard work and dedication. But I’m afraid at the end of the day that no one will be listening. I’ll turn out be the tree, falling in the forest, making a bunch of noise but with no one around to hear.

I know God has me where I am for a reason. I know it takes time to build something new. I know I am sowing seeds for the future. I don’t know exactly what that future is at this point. I know I need to be patient and keep walking this valley. I know it won’t keep on like this forever. Things will change. Eventually…

I’m praying for patience, perseverance, faithfulness, and open eyes. The enemy wants to trap me in fear that leads to inaction. I won’t let him. The enemy wants me to hide in shame. I don’t have time for that kind of self consciousness, there’s work to do. Kingdom work.

My meltdown was last Thursday and I wrote the bulk of this then with no intention to publish it. Mostly I was just pouring my heart out to God and trying to coax the fears into the light where I could get a good look at their ugly mugs.

Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ve already got my “big girl” pants on. I didn’t post all this to make you feel sorry for me. I just want to be authentic and truthful, we all have bad days.

Last Thursday was wretched, but by God’s providence I came home to my husband, who loves me and cares when my heart is hurting. And that night we went to our church community group, a safe place, where my friends encouraged and prayed for me. As we are studying Joy it’s of course the thing we are all being tested in right now.

As I prayed this week in the fallout from that meltdown I was asking, “Daddy, what do you want me to do?” And God, being ever loving and always faithful, responded to me with such tenderness. I read my Bible like normal, I listened to a few sermon podcasts, and God’s clear word to me was, “Don’t give up. Don’t despair. I am with you. I’m going to give you everything you need. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop asking. Don’t let anything dilute the things I have put in your heart.”

Thanks for reading my little rant. I would really love to hear from you. Do you feel like you’ve found your calling?

Genesis 6 – In Wells, Clouds and Rainbows

Posted on May 20, 20161 Comment

A Year in the Life

How has the last year been for you? Anything significant happen? Any certain trial, illness, injury, or maybe something to rejoice over, marriage, baby, healing, reconciliation? A lot can happen in a year. Coming up on the end of the school year always makes me feel like the year is flying by far too fast. Soon it will be Christmas…

In the past year I’ve been to 3 weddings, 4 baby showers, and 2 funerals. I’ve nursed my kids through a dozen colds, a broken foot, and attended half a dozen of their music performances… And in between all those joys and sorrows is daily life, family, work, church, all while holding on to Jesus’ hand and knowing that when the floods come he’s holding me up.

Noah was 600 years old when the flood began and spent a total of 370 days in the ark. (Gen 7:6-19) The flood itself lasted only 150 days, but the process of the waters subsiding took another 220 days.

Where Did All the Water Go?

In the six hundred and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried from off the earth. And Noah removed the covering of the ark and looked, and behold, the face of the ground was dry. In the second month, on the twenty-seventh day of the month, the earth had dried out. Gen 8:13-14

God put all that water back where it needed to be. He brought it out later, whenever he wanted to use it to show himself as the ultimate provider of life’s most necessary resource. Like when Moses brought water from the rock in the wilderness (Ex 17:6), or when He showed Hagar the well in the desert to save Ishmael. (Gen 21:19) It all came from the flood, running off into the depths and being brought forth when needed.

The 220 days it took the water to recede shows us that there is a process beyond surviving the storm. Some things are healed in an instant. Mostly it takes time to heal from the deep things. Grief takes time, wounds take time, bitterness takes time, destruction takes time.

Later, as the water makes it’s cycles in the clouds, God promises the rains as a blessing.

“But the land that you are going over to possess is a land of hills and valleys, which drinks water by the rain from heaven, a land that the Lord your God cares for. The eyes of the Lord your God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year to the end of the year.
And if you will indeed obey my commandments that I command you today, to love the Lord your God, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil. And he will give grass in your fields for your livestock, and you shall eat and be full.” Deuteronomy 11:11-15

From Ark to Altar

As we face trials in our lives we often get discouraged and just wish things would go back to the way they were before. But it doesn’t work that way. We live with the fallout, consequences, and changes that come from trials and sin. Even if we’re not guilty, the sins done against us change us. We start to let go of hope and cling to bitterness.

I wonder if Noah became bitter or impatient with how long it took the earth to dry out. I wonder if he regretted obeying God. It doesn’t seem like it. What was Noah’s response at the end of the flood? One of the first things Noah did was build an altar and offer a sacrifice to God.

So Noah went out, and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives with him. Every beast, every creeping thing, and every bird, everything that moves on the earth, went out by families from the ark.
Then Noah built an altar to the Lord and took some of every clean animal and some of every clean bird and offered burnt offerings on the altar. And when the Lord smelled the pleasing aroma, the Lord said in his heart, “I will never again curse the ground because of man, for the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth. Neither will I ever again strike down every living creature as I have done. While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.”
Gen 8:18-22

When it seems like every earthly comfort is taken away, is your first response worship? For me sometimes it is, but often it is not. I want to build altars of worship, instead of trying to rebuild and hold onto the idols God is trying to break down in my life.

What are the trials in our lives for? What does God mean to accomplish? His glory. His worship. The proof of His promises. To produce patience. To move us from Christian infancy to Christian maturity (Heb 5:11-14). It’s why James could say,

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

It’s how we move from complaining to thankfulness, from anxiety to rest, from the lust of the flesh to a desire for holiness, from coveting to generosity, and from selfish distraction to humble devotion to Jesus.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

The flood radically changed the earth and left a mere 8 people and a boatload of critters standing at the end of it. It was a new beginning for Noah, his family, and creation itself with God’s beautiful covenant hung across heaven. A rainbow. A promise from God to never again flood the whole earth to destroy all flesh. (Gen 9:8-17) The funny thing about rainbows is, they require precipitation and sunlight at the same time. If our lives were perfect and storm free, start to finish, how would we ever see our need for God or the beautiful rainbows he wants to show us?

His Death Shall Bring

Posted on May 13, 2016Leave a comment

Genealogy in the Bible can be a giant stumbling block for some people. It may seem like list after boring list of confusing, difficult to pronounce, senseless names. Today I want to show you something special. Let’s go on a unique genealogical journey to the heart of the Gospel of right there in Genesis.

My research is largely based on this article by Chuck Missler that touched me so deeply about 17 years ago. More solid proof to me that God is speaking to us all the time, but sometimes we don’t know how to hear it.

Last post I jumped right into the flood, but now I’d like to backtrack a little and take you through the meanings of the names of the genealogy from Adam to Noah in Genesis 5.

God is a better Architect

According to Chuck’s research, “Methuselah comes from muth, a root that means “death”; and from shalach, which means to bring, or to send forth. The name Methuselah means, “his death shall bring”.” If we do the math of how long he lived and when he died, the flood came in the same year that Methuselah died.

I’m going to list the Hebrew names and their English meanings but I highly recommend you read Genesis 5 and then read the Chuck Missler Article for his brief explanations and research notes on each name.

Adam = Man
Seth = Appointed
Enosh = Mortal
Kenan = Sorrow
Mahalalel = The Blessed God
Jared = Shall come down
Enoch = Teaching
Methuselah = His death shall bring
Lamech = The Despairing
Noah = Rest, or comfort.

Written out it reads:

Man (is) appointed mortal sorrow; (but) the Blessed God shall come down teaching (that) His death shall bring (the) despairing rest.

So many think the flood was God’s angry judgement, but there is another side to that coin. In Missler’s article he points out that “Methuselah’s life, in effect, was a symbol of God’s mercy in forestalling the coming judgment of the flood. Therefore, it is fitting that his lifetime is the oldest in the Bible, speaking of the extensiveness of God’s mercy.”

Jesus is a better Ark

By design, every bit of the Gospel was written before time began. The death and resurrection of Jesus gives us rest from the despair of the Law, of knowing there is no way we can live up to the standard of perfection. Rest from worry and fear, and rest from our own sin, sickness, and brokenness. Colossians 2:13-15 comforts us with these words:

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Searching for God and Finding Jesus

Jesus says to the religious folks who knew the torah and Noah’s genealogy word for word,

“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” John 5:39-40

What are we doing here? Why do we “search the scriptures” or study the bible? Is it just to heap more information into our brains? Jesus tells us what the bible is for… to lead us to go to him so that we may have life. It’s how we spend time getting to know and love Jesus more and more. After all, the name “Jesus” means “God saves.” The Apostle Peter says,

“And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

Thanks for reading. I hope this has given you a new sense of wonder at just how amazing our God is, that even a rag-tag list of names lays out perfectly His plan of salvation! As always feel free to leave a comment or email me.

Genesis 6 Part 1 – Impending Doom

Posted on May 6, 2016Leave a comment

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:10

Recently I have prayed and cried with various dear friends going through some radically difficult circumstances. They are being affected by other people’s sin in faith shaking kinds of ways. As we look at the account of Noah we’ll see just how grieved God was by all that sin in the hearts of people on the earth. Then we’ll get a picture of how God help us in times of trouble. Finally we’ll see that there is a way to suffer well so that Christ is glorified and we are strengthened.

Impending Doom

The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. These are the generations of Noah.
   Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. Noah walked with God. And Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
   Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight, and the earth was filled with violence. And God saw the earth, and behold, it was corrupt, for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth. And God said to Noah, “I have determined to make an end of all flesh, for the earth is filled with violence through them. Behold, I will destroy them with the earth. Make yourself an ark of gopher wood. Make rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and out with pitch.
   Genesis 6:5-14

My heart is breaking for my friends as they suffer in difficult circumstances… Can you imagine how grieved God’s heart is to see all the hurt among all the people all the time? In Noah’s day it was crazy bad! But God chose Noah and his family, to rescue them. He set them apart, called them to do His work and then hid them away while His wrath was poured out and the wickedness of mankind was judged. When we are hurting our tendency is to hide from God, but the secret to survival and strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other is to hide in God.

Help is on the Way

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell… if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly… and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked… then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment, and especially those who indulge in the lust of defiling passion and despise authority. 2 Peter 2:4-10 (paraphrased, emphasis mine)

Noah watched society boiling over with wickedness, for possible as many as 120 years, while he build the arc. Are you watching some part of your life fall apart right before your eyes? Are you in pain every day? Are you watching people that are supposed to love and care for each other implode with selfishness? What if it never changes? What if you die before that person ever repents and does the right thing? What if you are never healed this side of heaven?

It is such a comfort to know that God knows how to rescue us. Do you believe it? If not, why not? Maybe there is some misinformation about God you’ve been believing instead. If God has already gotten ahold of your spirit and rescued you from utter judgment don’t you think He will be with you in the storm you’re in now?

Get in the Ark

By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith. Hebrews 11:7

My hope and prayer is that by faith my friends, knowing the flood is coming, will stand firm in their faith in the Gospel, climb in the ark of God’s arms of comfort and mercy and love, and for the sake of the glory of Christ be content with hardship, because when they are weak, then they are strong.

In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on that day all the fountains of the great deep burst forth, and the windows of the heavens were opened. The flood continued forty days on the earth. The waters increased and bore up the ark, and it rose high above the earth. The waters prevailed and increased greatly on the earth, and the ark floated on the face of the waters. Gen 7:11, Gen 17-18

We might feel like God doesn’t love us when the flood comes, but that is a lie of the enemy. You were chosen in Him before the foundations of the world, He will bear you up in an ark and rescue you. You will be in the flood, but as a beloved child of the Most High God, you have nothing to fear.

Psalm 32:6-7 offers great encouragement:

Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.

Jesus is the ark. And you are not alone there. Just like Noah had his family, hopefully you have a community of gospel friends that God has been building into your life… you didn’t know you would need them, but He did. If you don’t have a network of friends who will help you fight for your faith, do all you can to plug in at church, get in a small bible study or prayer group. Noah wasn’t alone, and neither are you. The fountains of the deep are bursting forth, the flood is coming… but so is rescue. Don’t hide from the Lord, instead hide in the Lord.

I hope this has been encouraging for you. If you are suffering and in need of prayer you can email me or be bold and share in the comments. If you have a friend suffering pass this along to encourage them. Tell them you love them and are praying for them. It’s part of what the Church is for. As always, thanks for reading.

John 5 Part 1- House of Mercy

Posted on April 22, 2016Leave a comment

Bethesda means “House of Mercy.” What do we need more than mercy when we are thoroughly wrapped up in our own self pity?

Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. John 5:2-5

I haven’t done anything for 38 years. Maybe breathing since I’m just barely that old. But I have had significant times of both physical and spiritual lameness in my life. I’ve spent much of the past three years in a state of daily physical pain due to a hip injury. I’ve also spent much of the past few years paralyzed by fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of responsibility, fear of being wrong, fear of messing it all up. All these fears have been for me a spiritual bondage leading to inaction.

This is the account of a significant healing miracle that Jesus did in the life of one man. This passage says there was a “multitude of invalids.” Do you ever feel like just one of the crowd? Do you ever wonder what difference can one person make? What difference can I make? How can I help anyone when I can’t even help myself?

It’s very easy to talk yourself out of something that you know in your heart of hearts that God has called you to do. It’s easy to convince yourself that you are crazy and tell yourself God couldn’t possibly have picked you because you are so desperately unqualified. I fight these thoughts daily.

We are all so broken. There is a point we come to where enough is enough. Sometimes we don’t realize it, but Jesus is right around the corner. We don’t have any discernible faith, just a pocket full of lame excuses. But Jesus comes and finds us. For that man at the pool, this was his day.

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” John 5:6

What compassion! Where are you hurting right now? Physically? Relationally? Emotionally? How long has it been? Jesus already knows.

Do you want to be healed? Do I want to be healed? Is our answer something like this?

The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” John 5:7

Do we say, “Yes, but…”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not strong enough.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
“Getting in the water is my answer but I can’t get there.”
“Getting to church and community group is the answer, but I can’t get there.”
“Getting in the word and prayer is the answer but I don’t have time.”
“I’ve sinned too much for too long.”
“My past is too dark. I’m ashamed.”
or like the childhood classic my dad used to sing me when I was in the midst of a self-pity party…
“Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m goin’ out and eat worms…”

The absolutely radical thing about Jesus and His healing power is that it has nothing to do with us. Let me say that again. It has nothing to do with us. It is His mercy. Sometimes His mercy looks like His sufficient grace and mighty strength made perfect in our weakness. Sometimes it looks like radical, miraculous healing.

Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. Now that day was the Sabbath. John 5:8-9

Jesus healed so many people so many different ways, but the goal is the same. Action.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

These last few months for me this looks like being healed of fear, getting up every morning, taking up my keyboard, and writing. This looks like finally letting go of all the excuses why I can’t or won’t or shouldn’t write. It looks like doing my physical therapy, getting to the gym and getting back to a place of physical fitness despite the hip pain. (Ironically, the more I go the less it hurts because then the joint doesn’t get stiff.) It’s seeing His mercy in my every-day life. It’s seeing Jesus looking at me and loving me, even when I’m the most broken and the least lovely. It looks like me sitting at His feet every day and letting Him wash me with the word.

How has Jesus touched you, healed you, been fixing your brokenness? Where in your life do you need healing now? What excuses have you been making? He’s right around the corner. He sees you. He loves you. He has new mercy for you today. So… Get up… take up your bed… and walk.

As always, thanks for reading. I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to comment on this post and share it with someone you know who need this encouragement today. Join me again next week when we’ll look at what the Pharisees had to say about this healing which took place on the Sabbath.

Intentional Rest

Posted on April 9, 2016Leave a comment

I’ve had a few months of consistent blogging but last week I took a week off. We decided to take the boys camping for a few days during Spring Break. It was awesome.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in getting the work done, or getting the writing done, it’s hard to take a step back and just stop. The plate of life gets so full stuff starts falling off the edges. You get so tired you end up accidentally using the gravy as salad dressing… Sigh…

There are different kinds of rest we need. A vacation, like camping, can be so beneficial in all these areas. We all need physical, mental, emotional and spiritual rest. I’m not talking about retirement, or a “lifestyle of leisure”, but about recognizing when you’ve been going too hard for too long without a break and taking an intentional rest.

Everything wears out with time, but rest has a way of renewing focus and purpose. It’s why we need good sleep every night and weekends off, but it’s also why we need larger chunks of rest like vacations.

King David outlined this beautifully in the first few verses of Psalm 23.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. (mental rest)

He makes me lie down in green pastures. (physical rest)

He leads me beside still waters. (emotional rest)

He restores my soul. (spiritual rest)

Mental Rest – The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

We think a lot of thoughts every day. A quick google search nets a few different articles that claim anywhere from 12,000 – 80,000. I don’t know about the validity of all that and most of those articles sight no source. So here are my thoughts on our thought lives.

There’s typical daily thoughts… get coffee, write for an hour(lots of thoughts here), what to wear, what’s for breakfast, don’t forget to take your vitamins, what time is it? Gotta be on time for school, make sure the kids are ready, take them to school, go to work, look at current projects, think about how to complete them, think about dinner for the night, think about my husband and wonder how his day is going, think the same about my kids. I listen to KWave all day so with Pastoral teaching in the background all day I’m thinking about the word, how it applies to my life, to my friends, I think about certain people and often pray for them. All of that weaves in and out while I’m thinking about the project I’m working on. If I hit a trouble spot in my project then I have to really focus and think of a solution.

Then there’s all the worry type thoughts… Am I gonna get enough hours at work this week, I hope it doesn’t rain, I hope we don’t get sick, I hope the car doesn’t break down, I hope dinner turns out good, I hope the kids new shoes last longer than 3 weeks.

Then there’s the fear thoughts… The ones we have in the quiet, in the dark, right before we fall asleep… I’m not good enough… I can’t do this… I feel like a phony… What if my prodigal never comes back to the Lord… My parents are getting old… What if they die… What if I die… What if my husband dies… What if my kids die… What if my husband gets laid off… What if we lose everything…

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

Vacations, camping or otherwise, help us get back to living in the moment. It’s a change of scenery, we think new fresh thoughts. It gets us out of our regular routine and clears the cobwebs. The thoughts that stress us out may not go away completely, but they quiet down and get in the back seat for awhile. On vacation I don’t have to troubleshoot a work project. While spending extra time with my family I don’t have to wonder how their day is.

Physical Rest – He makes me lie down in green pastures.

For me last week this looked like a lot of sitting around the campfire and taking a slow stroll through Old Town Temecula. I write every morning, work full time and I usually Crossfit 3 – 4 days a week. It was so good to just let my body rest, especially after participating in the Crossfit Open (a series of 5 very intense weekly workouts). I got more of a natural workout, packing and then setting up camp, but once that was done I was largely free to just hang out and enjoy my husband and kids.

I cook most of the meals when we camp, but even that is different than at home when I have very little time in the evening between work and bedtime to cook a meal and feed the family. Camp cooking is fun, and especially great when you’re just sitting around the fire stirring the stew every once in awhile. And come on, truth is everything tastes better with a little camp dirt in it. And percolator coffee beats drip anyday.

Emotional Rest – He leads me beside still waters.

Something as simple as being away from our daily commute and crazy drivers on the road can relieve so much of the anger we feel on a daily basis. Traffic is upsetting.

Life can also become emotional hide-and-seek. We have feelings we are afraid to show and share so we hide them. The constant stress of that can definitely take a toll on our relationships and health. I’m not saying vacation makes these hard things go away, but it can give us the time we need to regroup and see things from a different angle.

You don’t have to hide from God emotionally. He created your feelings, but the enemy has a way of turning our emotions into unproductive tantrums. Instead of seeking God in an emotional storm we lash out at the ones we love the most. Or we go the other way and shut down, making ourselves emotionally unavailable to our spouse and kids.

If we are feeling lonely and disconnected from spouse and kids a family vacation can put us back in emotional connection. You work hard and hustle every day because you love your spouse and kids, but maybe when you get home you’re so emotionally drained there’s not much left. Vacation and even weekends can give us time to settle down and give ourselves emotionally to the people we really love most. They need it, and we do too.

If you come home from work every day emotionally drained it might be time to plan a vacation. It might be time to seek some counsel and prayer with a trusted friend. It might even be time to go alone to the mountain and pray like Jesus often did.

Spiritual Rest – He restores my soul.

Consider the bunnies, how they melt to make the perfect s'mores. — Consider the bunnies, how they melt to make the perfect s’mores.

I know it’s corny, but camping and being out in nature, enjoying God’s creation, can do wonders for us spiritually. It reconnects us so simple living. When Jesus says in Matthew 6 to “look at the birds” and the “consider the lilies of the field” so we can see how God is taking care of us, what better place to do that than the wilderness?

Many of us are are serving in one way or another at a local church or in some sort of ministry. It’s easy to slip into serving every week and neglect our own spiritual relationship with God in favor of spiritual activity. Basically we subconsciously say, “God I’m so busy serving you I don’t have time to pray and read the word.”

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-29

The whole point of being a Christian is following Christ. King David knew the voice of his Shepherd, the Good Shepherd. He doesn’t drive us like cattle, but leads us, calling us by name. If the voice of your Shepherd has been drowned out by the worry and hustle of daily life I encourage you to take some time this weekend to spend some quiet time in the word and let him restore your soul.

I love to hear from you! Tell me in the comments about a time you went camping or had a great vacation.

What’s so “Good” About Good Friday?

Posted on March 25, 20162 Comments

I remember as a kid, going to the Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside, CA for Easter Mass with my family. I always loved the stained glass panels, the smooth, well worn wood of the pews, the slight tang of incense that never completely dissipates. The statues always intrigued me the most. There was of course Mary, robed in blue and white, with a look of absolute serenity beaming down on me.

There was one statue that always haunted me though. It’s of Christ just before he goes to the cross, beaten, bloody, hands tied, with a crown of thorns on his head and a deep red velvet robe draped over his shoulders. It’s called “Ecco Homo”, the latin words for what Pontius Pilate said after Jesus had been scourged, “Behold the Man.”

I’m not Catholic anymore, but I look forward to “Good Friday” service at the church I’m part of every year because when I really focus my mind on that image, the broken Christ, something amazing happens. The goodness of God is exposed. Might sound kinda crazy but let me explain with a little Bible Q & A.

If God is so good then why was Jesus, his anointed one, so badly treated?

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

Who really was this Jesus?

He is more beautiful than I was ever told as a child. His life was one of love, passion and mercy. He was unique in all that exists. Not created but the Creator Himself. Not just a mere man, but the embodiment of God’s goodness to mankind.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. Col 1:15-20

What’s so “Good” about Good Friday?

What does the cross give us?
Righteousness
Reconciliation
Forgiveness
Justification
Freedom
Adoption
Love
Hope
Peace
Eternal Life
Resurrection
Holy Spirit
Mercy
Grace

What does the cross take away?
Shame
Condemnation
Separation
Wrath
Spiritual Deadness
Hopelessness
Punishment
Sin
Death
Fear

Jesus loves me this I know…

So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.” John 10:7-18

Sunday’s Comin!

But today we focus in on the cross. In the hero’s journey it’s the moment when all hope seems lost. It’s the thick darkness that comes before the dawn. It’s the one who was supposed to rescue us all and save the day, dead. The apostles were scattered and afraid. They watched their best friend and mentor die.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth. Isa 53:7

It’s the King of Kings, led like a lamb to be slaughtered, silent before his shearers. He is the Good Shepherd AND the Lamb that takes away the sin of the world. He did it all for love, and all for your sins and mine.

Our humanity says the hero doesn’t die… the hero rallies, stands up, finishes his fight and saves the day. Jesus wasn’t just interested in saving the day, but rather in saving you and me. That meant going all the way into death so he could fight death from the other side and rise again!

Today “Behold the Man,” knowing that you are his joy.

“…looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Heb 12:2

I hope this has encouraged you. I’d love for you to share in the comments what the cross of Christ has given you and what it has taken away.

Functional Faith

Posted on March 11, 2016Leave a comment

Sometimes we talk about faith like it’s a muscle we exercise to make it stronger, but with how my muscles behave after exercise I’m not sure it’s a valid comparison. Maybe it is…. Does my faith get sore after heavy use? Does my faith need a rest day? Does my faith get injured if I use it too much? Nah.

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about “functional fitness” and I think there is a comparison to faith in that way. Do I have “functional faith?” Is my faith strong and well nourished so that when it needs to lift a heavy load or go a distance it can? Do we want “functional faith” as badly as we want “functional fitness?”

In our faith there is a deadlift coming. It’s not something we can just walk away from. It must be lifted. Someone is going to get sick. Someone is going to lose a job. Someone is even going to die.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Do we treat church on Sunday like the machines at the local Globo gym that isolate muscles and never teaches them to work together? Are we tracking steps but not going anywhere? Or do we use Church like the training grounds it’s meant to be? Barbells, and Kettlebells and Burpees? The burpees that knock us down and teach us how to get back up again.

Church is meant to be a safe place for faith to function so we don’t see our faith fail outside the walls. Do we stare ahead at the worship team just listening, or do we take a deep breath and explode with worship? Do we sit through the sermon internally complaining about the squeaky AC vent (guilty!) or do we concentrate on what the Spirit is trying to teach us? Do we pray like we mean it and believe God hears us, or do we pray just to make people feel better about life?

Are we apathetic? Do we shrug at the folks around us with a “glad it’s not me” attitude while they are carrying heavy burdens, or do we encourage them? “Good work!” “You got this!” “Keep your butt low and your chest up!” Or rather, “Let’s get on our knees and lift this up to the Lord!”

Tenacious G

There are two ways to fail. You either don’t try, or you fall and don’t get back up. Aside from being functional the word tenacious comes to mind. Here’s what “tenacious” means:

A strong grip or an unyielding advocate might both be described as tenacious, a word whose synonyms include resolute, firm, and persistent. The word comes from the Latin root tenax, which means “holding fast.” (vocabulary.com)

I want that kind of tenacious faith! The awesome thing is that God’s word show us that more often than us grabbing hold of God, He is the one who upholds us. Jesus is our unyielding advocate with a strong grip on us. Isaiah 41:10 says:

fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Church isn’t only a place to exercise our faith, but also a place to hear the Gospel that reminds us it is God who upholds us when we are weak. Our strength doesn’t come from inside ourselves, but rather comes from believing that God is holding us up, whether we are on our feet, on our knees, or curled up in the fetal position getting kicked in the gut by life.

Tenacious faith doesn’t stand up on it’s own like a pillar, it’s the ivy vine that clings to the pillar, and no matter how hard it gets pruned down, it always comes back. Tenacious! We don’t have enough strength, muscle, backbone, faith or anything else to stand on our own, but we can hold on for dear life to Jesus who does. Romans 8:35-38 gives us this hope:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What an awesome scripture to meditate on! If you’ve been encouraged by this today please feel free to leave a comment below or share this post. I appreciate you reading.

Resources

For Functional Faith check out Life Mission Church or a local Church near you this Sunday!

For Functional Fitness check out Crossfit 2.0 or a local Crossfit Box near you!

Safety In Numbers

Posted on March 5, 20161 Comment

It’s been foggy the last few mornings. Light fog is beautiful, it softens the harsh edges of the world, it catches the sunlight in a shimmery haze. Thick fog is downright terrifying. It hides what we need to see. It lies to us about the dangers in our path. It blinds us to reality. It settles into the valley and blocks out the sun. Beyond the white haze we know the sun is there, but we can’t see it anymore. It’s a different kind of darkness, one where we can fool ourselves into thinking we can see. That’s the most dangerous kind of blindness.

Really the fog forces us to slow down, take our time. We may only be able to see a step or two ahead. Rushing around in the fog is a recipe for disaster.

The fog I’m talking about here is the “unknown”, the “what-ifs” and the things that keep us up worrying at night.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:16

I see the “mountain top” above the fog, but I also see that valley, full of foaming white froth, and I know I have to go through it to get up there. Weather it’s the maturing of my faith, the next goal in my fitness journey, the years away graduation of my kids, or just the next project at work.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

In the case of fog the phrase “safety in numbers” has a fierce ring of truth. We can follow the successful steps of those that have gone before us while walking with our peer group and leading the next generation.

“Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Corinthians 13:11

This is what community is all about, especially what I’ve come to know as “Gospel Community.” Over the years I’ve been a part of many churches, but never one so rooted in the Gospel as where I am now.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace…” 1 Peter 4:10

What this looks like practically is a group of Christian believers intentionally knitting their lives together. More than just a couple hours on a Sunday, we make it our aim to be friends and encourage each other throughout the week.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16

We need to get vulnerable, ask for help and prayer. Say, “I’m in the fog!” And that Gospel community says “Jesus is in the fog with you, and so are we.” We help each other see Jesus through the fog. We help each other hear Jesus through the fog. We help each other follow Jesus in the fog.

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” Romans 14:13

Are you in the fog? Are you in a Gospel Community? We gotta stop stumbling around and hiding our skinned knees. Ask for help. Make a friend. Help someone else. You need community, and your community needs you.

“Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart…” 1 Peter 1:22

Feel free to comment below. I would love to hear how Gospel Community has made a difference in your life.

Unconditional

Posted on February 26, 2016Leave a comment

Don’t really know what I’m doing today. I wish there was an easy way to get where I want to be other than patiently taking the time to get there.

I know I need the experiences and failures that are ahead to sharpen me and build me into something that will survive the test. With no test there is only soft mush. If you don’t bake the pie the crust will never become golden. If you don’t fire the pot the glaze will never shine. If you don’t cook the roast it will always just be a bloody mess.

I want to start working on my devotional book again, and I feel like I’m on the right track. The communion message Scott gave at church last Sunday was beautiful, and unexpectedly intense for me. He started with the simple statement, “God loves you.” and I took it. I took it personally. I believed it, at face value. I believed it like I did when I first got saved. Ironically the devotional book I’m working on is an effort to get a sharp focus on God’s love for us.

For some reason we get saved and we are so grateful we start doing all kinds of stuff for the Lord. Then we feel like if we fail at doing the stuff or go into gross sin we fail to keep His love. We think God loves us because he’s obligated himself to, not just because he loves us. We think that once we are saved he has some “expectation”, but the only thing Jesus tells us to “do” is believe and “abide”.

When Phil (Bill Murray) finally broke free from his groundhog day loop he wakes up with Rita (Andy MacDowell) and says to her, “Why are you still here?” and she answers back, “You said stay, so I stayed.” It was at the point she knew his love was real and not fake that she stayed. The curse was broken.

God’s love isn’t fake. It’s not manufactured by religion to get you to abide by certain moral standards or give money. God’s love for you is the real deal. We throw around the word unconditional with no real understanding of what it means because for us everything is conditional.

A quick search for the word “unconditional” nets a few great phrases that dial it in.

God’s love for you is complete and absolute, not limited in any way.

God loves you without any special exceptions.

God’s love for you is all-out and all-in!

Wear it with joy, like a crown, as the child of the King!

God LOVES you!