Articles by Smallchelle

John 4 Part 1 – Jesus at the Well

John 4
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Have you ever passed by a well or fountain, surrounded by laughing children and their parents doling out pennies? Hopes, dreams, wishes, all bound up to a little copper disk at the fingertips of a child. Maybe you remember yourself at that age, looking down into the water, speckled with all the shiny wishes that had gone before yours. What did “little you” wish for? Fame? Wealth? A better life? Where is our happily ever after? When did we stop throwing pennies? Sometimes when we pray do we feel like that? Like we throw God our pennies and hope for the best? Then we watch them sink like stones and get cynical and jaded when our hopes, dreams, and wishes don’t come our way. Do we treat God like a simple childhood superstition? I have. And how poorly I underestimated God.

Throughout the bible wells have a purpose. Water is a necessary element of life. Where there is water there are people. Where there is a well or spring there is provision for life. If someone digs a well it can be a symbol of land ownership and authority. If someone finds a spring in the desert it can mean the difference between life and death.

The new testament is full of accounts where Jesus met with people at wells, pools, seas and rivers. In this series through John 4 we’ll get a deep look at Jesus’ meeting with “the woman at the well.” Let’s get started.

Where in the World is Jesus of Nazareth?

“he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria.” John 4:3-4

Since John wrote this after all these things happen I find it interesting that he made the distinction that Jesus “had to” pass through Samaria. By the end of this section of scripture we will see many lives change and many people in Samaria come to believe in Jesus as the messiah/savior. But it started with a personal meeting with one woman who was broken and alone.

“So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.” John 4:5-6

This picture of Jesus is a little hard for me. It’s the heat of the day. He’s tired. Wearied. He’s walked a long way. He’s sitting by the well, resting his sore legs, possibly mopping sweat from his brow. He appears outwardly to be only a man, but in this we get a glimpse of why it says in Heb 4:15 that he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. It’s hard to think of Jesus in “need” of anything. Here we see he wasn’t some spiritual apparition, but a man that got tired, hungry and thirsty.


“A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” John 4:7

At first glance this seems like our Lord is being a little bit demanding. But as the conversation continues we see this for what it is. An invitation to conversation and relationship. Not like the cold, humorless wishing well, that receives our coins with no guarantee that our desires will be met. Not even like the actual well, that requires you to let down a bucket and haul it back up to be rewarded with water. It is an invitation to know him.

Remember verse 4 says “he had to pass through Samaria.” When we met Jesus it wasn’t by accident. It wasn’t a coincidence. This isn’t fatalism either. There is a God and He wants you to know that He already knows you, that He has everything you need, and that you are not alone. How many times did that woman come to the well alone? Not with all the rest of the women, in community and sharing life together, but an outcast. And on this day, this particular day, she shows up and a strange man, asks her for a drink…

Next Time

Next week we’ll dig into the next part of this conversation. In the meantime, when we pray this week, let’s ask God to show us where we’ve been treating Him like a wishing well. He’s inviting us into relationship, a beautiful two way conversation about who we think He is and who He really is. He’s not far away, but right where you are… right at your lonely well. I hope you spend some time with Him. As always, Thanks for reading.

Further Reading

Hebrews 4:14 – 5:10 Jesus our High Priest and eternal source of salvation
A fun article about wishing well practices in Southern California by the Anthropology dept. at UC Irvine



How to Use Paul’s 8 Weapons of Righteousness

Corinthians
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My kids have a weapons rack. It consists of things like nerf guns, wooden and foam swords, sling shots, cardboard shields and armor, everything a little boy needs to defend his kingdom, storm the castle, slay the dragons, defeat the bad guys and rescue the princess. Even at their young ages they understand the battle between good and evil, heroes/superheroes and villains, light and darkness. They know the bad guys are selfish, mean and greedy while the good guys fight for what’s right and help the weak.

In our Christian lives God has given us the Weapons of Righteousness to fight for what’s right and help the weak. Let’s take a look at these weapons. We need them for ourselves and our children because the world isn’t getting any safer these days.

2 Corinthians 6:3-13

“We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.”

Weapons are offensive and we must learn to wield them with skill when the enemy comes at us. Paul gives us these 8 weapons “purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God,” and he says they are for the right hand and the left. We often face hardship both from outside and sadly from within the church. We must help each other, stand with each other. The same Spirit that has called us into the sheepfold has already equipped us with these weapons of righteousness. Let’s see how to use these weapons to defend ourselves on the right hand and encourage each other on the left hand.

  1. Purity

    Purity is the opposite of hypocrisy, and isn’t that the main complaint of the world toward the church these days? We know we will never achieve sinless perfection this side of heaven but we should be growing in these things. In our sanctification process it looks like living in a way that we believe our lives are meant for more than the gratification of our own physical pleasures. As Christ becomes more beautiful to us our sins will lose their luster.

  2. Knowledge

    Knowledge is so powerful because it silences ignorance. Do you know what the bible says? About sin? Salvation? Redemption? Jesus? Do you know what Jesus said in the bible? Jesus said some amazing things, and a lot of what he said was quoting the old testament. Jesus knew his bible. He also knew how and when to use the word of God. He shut down the enemy with skill when he was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. Satan doesn’t care about your opinions but if you know the Word then Satan can’t deceive you. The word is the sword! We must know it.

  3. Patience

    Patience is a great weapon in our “Have it your way right now” culture. Patience is also learned. We are born as babies and the first thing we do is cry until our needs are met. Hungry, cold, wet, tired, gassy. Our plump baby cheeks quivered until every little thing we wanted was given to us. And rightly so to helpless babies. The two’s are so terrible because in the maturing process it is when we must begin learning patience. Regular mealtimes, bedtime, potty training… It is the process of learning submission and obedience, but all for our own good. Grown ups with unmet expectations that refuse to exercise patience are truly the most miserable people and they make everyone around them just as miserable as a colicky baby that keeps everyone up all night. We sin when we look for shortcuts to our goals and desires. Use patience to show people you care about them enough to give them the time and space they need to function.

  4. Kindness

    Kindness opens doors that brute force will only shut tighter. The bible says it this way in Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Kindness is the opposite of being mean. At every turn of the corner Christ was showing kindness to the weak and exhausted people he met with. The apostles often got this wrong while Jesus was with them, trying to keep away children, hush the cries of blind men and send hungry people away to fend for themselves. By the time the book of Acts rolls around they got it. Every miracle in the new testament was birthed out of the kindness they learned from walking with Jesus. In a recent sermon Pastor Ron Ohst reminded us the kindest thing we can do for someone is put a hand on their shoulder and say, “Can I pray for you?” This can melt the hardened heart like wax.

  5. The Holy Spirit

    The Holy Spirit, the helper. Let’s face facts. We all need help. We look at this laundry list of afflictions and the endurance we need and say “Who can do this?!?” When Jesus left for heaven he said he wasn’t leaving us orphans but sending a helper, his Holy Spirit, to dwell in us. The Holy spirit is a lot like a light switch, the power is always there but not always “on.” We make a mistake thinking we can find our own way in the dark until we bang our shins on the proverbial coffee table of life and end up on the floor writhing in pain. Turn the lights on! Every day when you wake up, take a moment to pray and ask the Holy Spirit for help. He delights to help you.

  6. Genuine Love

    Genuine love is a rare gem. I could give you my opinion of what “genuine love” looks like but Paul lays it out perfectly for us in Romans 12:9-18,
    “    Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
    This attitude of genuine love applies in every aspect of life, in our families, workplaces, churches, and even the freeway. The strongest Christians I know are characterised by what Paul says, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation and constant in prayer.

  7. Truthful Speech

    Truthful speech. How does truthful speech give us endurance in afflictions? Again we must look at it as a weapon of righteousness. Jesus tells us where lies come from in John 8:44 as he address the religious leaders,
    “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
    The pharisees were unwilling to tell the truth about who Jesus was. Truthful speech calls us to the discomfort of telling people they have it wrong when they say Jesus was “just a good teacher” or “just a prophet.” There is power in telling the truth about Jesus, the power that leads to salvation. Paul was a pharisee bent on murdering Christians but he was converted to the truth of Jesus. He tells this truth clearly in 1 Cor 15:3-4,11
    “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures… Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.”
    The truth of the gospel sets captives free and turns enemies into brothers.

  8. The Power of God

    The power of God is the Gospel. Paul experienced this first hand when he was blinded on the Damascus road and he ultimately gave his life for it. Let’s hop scotch through his letters to the churches and see what he says about this power and the gospel…
    Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.
    1 Cor 1:18 For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
    1 Cor 1:24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God
    1 Cor 2:5 so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
    2 Cor 13:4 For he was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God.
    2 Tim 1:8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God,
    One of my favorite quotes is that “Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good, he came to make dead people alive.” -Ravi Zacharias. This is what the power of God working through the gospel of Jesus Christ does. Day in, day out.

I hope this has been an encouragement to you. Sometimes I feel like there is so much to do and I get so caught up in my own plans and my own little kingdom. I forget that God has saved me to be about his business. I forget that he’s already given me everything I need to do his will and his work. I forget that I’m in the Lord’s Army and I leave the house without my weapons and then I’m taken by surprise when the enemy comes at me. I want to be more intentional about having these weapons at the ready. Will you pray for me? I’ll be praying for you.



The 4 Reasons Why I Celebrate Christmas

Christmas
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Why I Celebrate Christmas

My faith is not blind. My favorite thing to read is my Bible. I know how weird that sounds, unless you’ve read the bible too. If you have, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s the unfolding of the human drama from creation to its future finish. The bible is not myth and legend made up by men. It’s a historical and prophetic account of a supreme being revealing himself to his estranged creation. It spans thousands of years and has 66 different authors all writing about one thing; the salvation of people by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus was a real man. The old testament prophesied the coming of a savior. Much of the old testament has been solidly backed up by archaeology. The new testament reveals Jesus as that savior. HIs life was so important that our very calendar is marked by his birth.

Modern secularists think that by separating ourselves from religion we become more “scientific” and “enlightened.” I believe the opposite is true, the more secular we become the more desperate we are to find meaning for our lives. It’s why suicide, drug abuse (illegal and rx), sexual promiscuity and “radical religion” are running rampant across the globe. We human creatures are so full of needs and wants. We are so restless. Our souls are at war with the God who created us, demanding that he make our lives easy and comfortable.

Jesus told us exactly why he came and I believe it is true.

And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read. And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,
  “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
  because he has anointed me
  to proclaim good news to the poor.
  He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
  and recovering of sight to the blind,
  to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
  to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” –Luke 4:16-21

Basically Jesus claimed to be the Messiah prophesied in scripture and then dropped the mic. Why are we so afraid to say about Jesus what he said about himself? I celebrate Christmas because what the angels told the shepherds the night he was born is true.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. –Luke 2:11

Why I Celebrate Christmas

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. –John 3:16

Jesus is the savior of the world, but he is also a personal savior. He spoke to large crowds, imparting truth, grace and wisdom but he also spoke to individuals. For 3 ½ years he poured his daily life into 12 men and a few close friends that included women like Mary and Martha. He healed individuals, lepers, blind, lame, and even the dead. I am part of a global family of God, the Church, but the bible also tells me I am a personally adopted daughter of the King.

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. –Galatians 4:4-7

Why I Celebrate Christmas

This Advent our focus at church has been joy. Joy is one of those things that can get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Christmas is a celebration! It’s a birthday party! Happy Birthday Jesus!

There is almost nothing more anticipated than the arrival of a baby. The birth of Jesus was no different. That night in Bethlehem, all those many years ago, an unwed teen gave birth to her own savior. Delivering a baby is scary and painful and miraculous and amazing. Almost as soon as we see those sweet baby cheeks and hear their first cries we begin to forget the pain of pregnancy and labor.

The amazing thing about Birthdays is no matter what else happened the day you were born it is still a special marker in time. A day set aside to reflect on another year of life past and to look forward to the next year ahead.

Before she gave birth this is what Mary said about her son,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for he who is mighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
And his mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
as he spoke to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”

Why I Celebrate Christmas

Emmanuel! God with us! Christ has come! We don’t need to look for anyone else. I celebrate Christmas with eyes wide open. I celebrate that light has come into the world and I want light instead of darkness in my life. I want peace instead of war in my soul. I want to worship a savior worthy of of my worship.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. –Colossians 1:15-20

Why do you Celebrate Christmas?

I hope these things have inspired and encouraged you this Christmas. For many the holidays are a time of hope and joy but for others it is difficult and sad. I pray that wherever your heart is this Christmas you will make room for Jesus. He loves you and longs for you to know him, not in a religious ritual or as a baby in a manger, but as your God and Savior, as your friend and as the bringer of peace to your soul.

I would love to know what Christmas means to you! Feel free to share in the comments. Thanks for reading!



Custom Fitted Calling

Corinthians
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Had a strange dream last night and woke up with thoughts of custom clothing. I was trying to fit into something that wasn’t made for me.

Buying dresses, and most clothing for that matter, is a nightmare for anyone who is not of average shape or size. I am 5’ tall, with wide hips, a big booty and a small waist. I have a very short torso but large breasts and broad shoulders. I also have a soft pot belly from having three kids and gaining and losing weight rapidly. It takes me hours of shopping and trying on dozens of items to find one thing that fits.

When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden and tried to cover their shame with fig leaves it was God who came, in mercy and love, and made them custom garments of animal skins to cover their nakedness.

Our robe of righteousness from Christ isn’t just one size fits all. He custom makes our lives to fit us. He custom makes our garments. Our gifts and callings. Our family and friends. Even our joys and hardships. I look at my husband and kids and can see how He made them just for me. And He made me just for them.

When Jesus performed healings and miracles he dealt with each individual in different ways, with just what they needed. To one he says “Take up your bed and walk.” To another he says “Stretch out your hand.”

There is a saying that comparison is the thief of joy. It is so true in every aspect of life, both the physical and the spiritual. We look at our neighbors and think, “I am poor.” But if you are reading this on any kind of technological device you are not poor. You might be broke, but by world standards you are not poor. We look at people in ministry and think, “I am not spiritual.” But if you have the Spirit of God living in you then you are spiritual. You might look at the people in your church who seem to have it all together and think, “I’m not good enough.” News flash! Aside from Jesus Christ not a single human on the planet is “good enough.”

In 1 Corinthians 12 the Apostle Paul has a great analogy! We are all one body by the Spirit in Christ, but we are not all the same body part! The foot can’t say “because I’m not a hand I’m not part of the body.” Also, the eye can’t say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” I think we are all interconnected in this amazing way and we just don’t take the time to understand who we are and how the body works. When we pray for persecuted believers in the world it’s like we are the knobby knees supporting the beaten back. When we give to the causes of things like Breath of Heaven Children’s Village in Zambia we are the hands putting soothing balm on the cracked, dry feet.

I want to challenge you today to take a couple minutes here, read all of 1 Corinthians 12 and pray. Ask God what His custom calling on your life is. What part of the body are you? What spiritual gifts has He custom tailored to fit your life? You are part of the body, you need the body and the body needs you!

1 Corinthians 12

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be uninformed.  You know that when you were pagans you were led astray to mute idols, however you were led. Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit.

 

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and here are varieties of service, but the same Lord;  and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

 

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

 

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

 

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

 

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But earnestly desire the higher gifts.

 

And I will show you a still more excellent way.

 

Thanks for reading! Comment and share if you’ve been encouraged.



Do Christians Really Care… About the Red Cup?

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I was thinking about the Bible. I love the Word of God. It’s just like real life. Jesus was and still is so misunderstood by people. Lately on social media there has been this “Media Controversy” about the Starbuck’s plain red holiday cup.

Frankly I’m disappointed to see my unbeliever friends posting mean things about Christians. The truth is we Christians don’t care about the red cup. Let me say that again. WE DON’T CARE. The media has told you we are all outraged. It is a lie. We don’t care.

I’ve seen mean snarky posts about how Christians should be caring about the homeless, and doing things for others. In my general experience, those are the things we do care about.

When we see a news story about murder our hearts break. When we see a news story about another school shooting we hug our kids tighter. When we see another family ruined by a stupid drunk driver, we pray. When we see a homeless man taking shelter from the rain under a grocery store awning, we buy him a sandwich and a 7-Up. This winter my church is filling backpacks with rain ponchos, clean socks and other necessities for the homeless in our community.

When we see a news story about Starbuck’s red cups, we don’t care. Shame on the media for manufacturing “news.” For taking one guy who made one comment and turning it into collective Christian “outrage.” Shame on any of you who think any Christian you know cares about the red cup. Stop being so mean.

Spiritual Metabolism

Psalms
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I read a Bible verse a few nights ago that got me thinking about the difference between muscle and fat.

Psalm 119:70

“their (the insolent) heart is unfeeling like fat, but I delight in your law.”

Most of the time the heart is used symbolically. The heart, while muscle, is also considered the seat of our emotions. Fat, on the other hand, does fat feel sorrow or pain or joy? I can’t flex my fat like I flex my bicep.

The heart is a muscle. It’s the central pump that sends oxygenated blood throughout the body. So many intricate parts in the system. If one thing goes wrong the dysfunction can cause numerous problems and even death.

This all got me thinking about metabolism. Merriam-webster.com defines it as the sum of the processes in the buildup and destruction of protoplasm; specifically :  the chemical changes in living cells by which energy is provided for vital processes and activities and new material is assimilated.

How can we relate this to ourselves spiritually? How does spiritual metabolism help us assimilate gospel truth and prevent our hearts from becoming “unfeeling like fat?”

Spiritual Metabolism

‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ Matt 4:4 & Deut 8:3

To keep our bodily metabolism functioning well we must have food, water, and exercise. Likewise, our spiritual metabolism runs on the word of God, prayer, community worship and service. Nutritional input, energy output.

The word of God and prayer are like food and water. We need to take them into our spirits like our bodies take in food, on a regular daily basis, multiple times a day. Sometimes we treat Sunday church like going out to an “all-you-can-eat.” We don’t feed ourselves often enough and are so hungry when we get there that we gorge ourselves. And just like at the buffet we guilt ourselves. We wish we were in the word and fellowship more often but we are so discouraged we don’t know how to make the healthy choice necessary for optimum spiritual metabolism.

Spiritual Junk Food vs. Spiritual Health Food

We all know the difference. Junk food = pre packaged, easy, trans- fat, sugar filled, sometimes even fake food. Fast food, super size fries, burgers, sodas and shakes. It has the appearance of food but lacks any real nutritional substance. Just enough to keep the body working, but over time performance and health suffers. Health food = lean meats and vegetables, complex carbs, healthy fats, an “occasional treat.” Reasonable portion sizes. Likewise, over time performance and ability increase.

“You are what you eat,”… spiritually. The junk that should just be the occasional treat ends up consuming much of our day. T.V., social media, video games, entertainment. We are consumers. But all these things are spiritually empty calories. We let our appetites instead of the Holy Spirit guide us. I am stirred by what Paul wrote to the Philippians,

“For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.” Phil 3:19

Spiritual Fat vs. Spiritual Muscle

Activity builds endurance. We walk our dogs, we go to the gym, our children have recess and p.e. classes, and play sports. In order to build a muscle you must train it, over and over again, to do the work you require of it. We can train our minds in scripture and prayer, and train our eyes to see with faith rather than fear.

Daily time in the word, prayer and worship will make us examples to our friends, families and communities of what a committed disciple of Christ looks like. If we go to church once a week for 20 years but still eat the world every day what little spiritual muscle we have will be swallowed up by spare tires of unbelief and muffin tops of apathy. Would you join a gym where the before and after pics look exactly the same?

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Tim 3:16

Spiritual Lethargy vs. Spiritual Activity

My goal here is encouragement, not to guilt or shame. There is a better way. I want you to have a real, healthy, spiritually active lifestyle. Making changes is hard, but if you make small changes daily they will add up over time. Again, it’s the “training” model. No one can bench press 300# their first try. They would be crushed.

In the photo above I have 65# over my head. That took me a year. My first day I struggled to get a pvc pipe overhead. I’m not asking you to lift 300# today. But if you are willing to submit to daily spiritual training then someday you will lift that and more. Spiritually, this means daily time in God’s word, prayer and worship as well as a regular exercise of kindness, generosity, and self control. The Apostle Paul explained it like this,

“Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” 1 Cor 9:25-27

Training Starts Today

“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the LORD of hosts.” Zech 4:6

Our works don’t earn grace, but God’s grace in our lives gives us a desire to live with hearts that delight in God’s word and not as insolent people with unfeeling hearts. Don’t “wait till monday” to start eating your spiritual food and doing your spiritual activity. The Holy Spirit is whispering to you today. He is your helper. He is your trainer. Like your bodily metabolism converts food into energy, the Holy Spirit takes the gospel into your heart and converts it into the good works God has already prepared for you.

Thanks for reading! Comment and share if you’ve been encouraged.



Psalm 107 Part 6 – There is no God Like our GOD

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I have loved going through Psalm 107 and using the truths within it to share my testimony of how God has been working in my life. The Lord has taken me from teenage desperation to learning the daily practice of trusting Him for my spiritual and practical needs. The conclusion of this Psalm offers continued hope to the children of God and a warning to the wicked who oppress His people.

In this passage there are so many threads of thought but I want to focus in on the water. One of my original purposes in starting this blog a couple years ago was to learn about all the wells in Scripture. While this isn’t a specific well, it is referring to water as one of our general provisions from God, a necessity for life and fruitfulness.

Psalm 107:33-43


He turns rivers into a desert, springs of water into thirsty ground,
a fruitful land into a salty waste, because of the evil of its inhabitants.
He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.
And there he lets the hungry dwell, and they establish a city to live in;
they sow fields and plant vineyards and get a fruitful yield.
By his blessing they multiply greatly, and he does not let their livestock diminish.
When they are diminished and brought low through oppression, evil, and sorrow,
he pours contempt on princes and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
but he raises up the needy out of affliction and makes their families like flocks.
The upright see it and are glad, and all wickedness shuts its mouth.
Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.

I believe that here in verses 33 and 34 it is a reference to Egypt. God plagued the land of Egypt by turning the Nile to blood. The Egyptians falsely worshiped the Nile as their giver of life and fruitfulness and God demonstrated that life and fruitfulness are really in his hands. God also turned the Red sea into dry ground to rescue his people from the evil and oppression of their slavery in Egypt then used it to bury their oppressors and stop the attack for good.

Flesh vs. Spirit

Psalm 107:35-38

He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.
And there he lets the hungry dwell, and they establish a city to live in;
they sow fields and plant vineyards and get a fruitful yield.
By his blessing they multiply greatly, and he does not let their livestock diminish.

Here again is God’s deliverance of his chosen people from the oppression of Egypt. He provided water in the wilderness for them, leading them to the oasis, and later bringing water from a rock, which was a picture of Christ. Then God gave them the land he promised by his covenant, a land for them to dwell in, make a home, and be his people so he could be their God. Where there is water there is a fruitful yield. Scripture refers to itself as water, but also to the Holy Spirit as water. If we want fruitful spiritual lives we must be regularly in the word and walking by the spirit and not the flesh. Paul wrote to the Galatians on this.

Galatians 5:16-26

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

One of the miraculous things about the word of God is that it is living water. The word of God doesn’t just give us information about God and Jesus. When it is poured over our hardened, dry hearts it actually transforms us, makes us new. It takes what is dead and makes it alive! Instead of fruit to the flesh we begin to produce fruit of the spirit. We don’t accomplish this by trying harder, but rather by daily sinking our roots deep into the gospel.

 

Suffering

Psalm107:39-42

When they are diminished and brought low through oppression, evil, and sorrow,
he pours contempt on princes and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
but he raises up the needy out of affliction and makes their families like flocks.
The upright see it and are glad, and all wickedness shuts its mouth.

 

This Psalm mentions three reasons for suffering in the lives of God’s people, oppression, evil and sorrow. These things diminish us by subtracting from us joy and happiness. They bring us low by crushing our hopes and dreams. The contempt of God is poured out on the evil and wicked.

Oppression

Oppression, refers to physical suffering at the hands of evil rulers and spiritual suffering at the hands of spiritual dark forces, also known as spiritual warfare. These causes are largely out of our control, though some pagan and occultic practices can invite spiritual oppression into our lives. One advantage we have as new testament believers is what Paul describes in Ephesians 6 as spiritual armor. The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, shoes of gospel peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the Spirit and all prayer. If you’ve never studied the spiritual armor in Ephesians 6 I encourage you to pick up a bible study on it. You will be so blessed to learn that God doesn’t save us to leave us defenseless, but rather He equips us for battle with His gospel by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Evil

Evil affects all of mankind. It began at the Garden with Eve’s selfish desire to be like God, to be made all wise, to know good and evil. In the beginning, Adam and Eve only knew good. Having their eyes opened to evil set mankind on a track of death and destruction that is still running it’s course today. Evil rulers, men of war conquering and snuffing out whole races or religions, enslavement of whole people groups, criminals who murder, steal and rape, the sex trafficking industry and the porn industry that fuels it. The really discouraging thing to me is that these are still current issues. Mankind would like to think he is educated and enlightened, but we all feed the system. One thing we cannot do, despite the discouragement, is blame God for the evil in people’s hearts. When we ask the question, “If God is love then why is there evil in the world?” we are asking the wrong question. The question we need ask is, “If I am evil, why does God love me?”

Romans 5:8 is our gospel answer:

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Sorrow

Sorrow paints a picture in my head of Atreyu trudging through the Swamp of Sadness in the Neverending Story, all hope lost as the Nothing ravaged his world. Feelings of failure, grey skies in every direction with no hope that the sun will ever shine again. Loved ones have died, sickness abounds, friends have backstabbed us, we had hopes and dreams of what our lives would look like and we’ve failed to accomplish those things. Daily pain clouds every moment. We fail and hurt the people we love most. We try our hardest and it just isn’t good enough. I include myself in these struggles. But scripture promises joy beyond and even in our sorrows.

Psalm 30:5

For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

Ironically there can be no rescue without affliction. God can’t meet our needs if we have no needs. Water means nothing if there is no thirst. Without death there can be no resurrection.

Contempt

Here is God’s warning to those who would oppress his people and refuse his grace. The wrath of God is poured out, just like the spirit of God. To those who believe that Jesus died to cover their sins and that he took on himself the wrath of God in our place, they will never know or feel the desolation of the contempt of God. God is love, but that love requires him to be a righteous judge. The prideful who stand in front of him and say, ‘I don’t need your grace’ will not have the righteous life, death for sin and resurrection glory of Christ covering their sins when the contempt of God is poured over them. Instead of water to refresh and wash them clean it will be like acid melting them away down to the bone. The gospel tells us not only are we saved from our own sin, but also from the very justified wrath of God.

Romans 5:9

Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

Friends this is why we must be about the business of proclaiming the gospel every chance we get! It’s like handing people a “wrath of God hazmat suit.” We can’t save ourselves, we must be covered by the righteousness that Christ gives us.

A Call to Community

Psalm 107:43

Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.

This whole psalm uses the language of community and family. While God loves you and me personally and saves you and me individually, we are the children of God together! I hope you are plugged into a church body and even part of something like a community group or home bible study. We need each other’s encouragement and constant reminders of the hope we have in the Gospel. It’s also where we get equipped and encouraged to share the good news of this gospel. We are at our spiritual weakest when we are isolated from God’s people. Together let us consider the steadfast love of the LORD.

Psalm 107 has shown us that God finds the lost wanderers, delivers the captives, rescues the prisoners, feeds the hungry, gives water to the thirsty, heals with his word, stills the storm, shepherds his people and leads them home. Let’s rejoice and remind ourselves and our children daily of the steadfast love of the LORD!

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Psalm 107 Part 5 – Business as Usual

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Sometimes life is just business as usual. We get in the groove of family, work, church, weekend fun. We’ve seen the mighty works of God, but then we drift, ever so slightly, into self sufficiency. A kind of “what have you done for me lately?” attitude toward God. We feel like He’s busy somewhere else, taking care of other people, you know, widows, orphans, little kids with cancer, He must have left the 99 to go after another lost sheep, so I better get to work. I better work harder because this American Dream thing, well, it’s all on me. Nobody’s gonna just hand me a million dollars so I better pull up my bootstraps and get the job done. I’ve got mouths to feed and bills to pay, I’ve got it all under control… This is a very dangerous heart condition for the Christian.

And then crisis hits. Some big looming craziness that comes out of nowhere and threatens our lifestyle, peace and comfort. It brings a desperate kind of fear that sharpens our focus to a narrow pinpoint. The storm becomes all we can see. And we become desperate not to shipwreck.

Psalm 107:23-32

Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the great waters; they saw the deeds of the LORD, his wondrous works in the deep. For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their evil plight; they reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits’ end. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! Let them extol him in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders.

 

This psalm describes it so well, “their courage melted away… they reeled and staggered… and were at their wits end.” Have you ever been there friend? I definitely have… When I was 16 and found out I was pregnant, and later when my fiance and I split up and all I could see was a lifetime as a single mom. When my oldest son was hospitalized with asthma/pneumonia, watching him fight for every breath. All the times the bank account was empty and the bills were due. We become distressed even seeing the calamities of our country… 9/11, Columbine, Katrina, drug addiction and homelessness, and among our friends and families, deaths, affairs and diseases. Not to mentions the wars and crises of the world, AIDS, starvation, malaria, ISIS, human sex trafficking, Syrian refugees… Soul melting, heart shattering tragedies. Our world is so broken. We feel so helpless and out of control. The question then becomes who really is in control?

The description of the storm in this psalm amazes me. Where did it come from? Verse 25 tells us, “For He (God) commanded and raised the stormy wind…” There’s this tension all through scripture between the sovereignty of God and the choice of humans. He uses trials to build character in us, to teach us to trust him. We irrationally try to save ourselves, we believe we have control and are unwilling to let go. But we must let go. God doesn’t command us to stop the storm, but he does command us to pray and put our hope and trust in Him.

James 5:13-18 says,

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

 

In Matthew 8 and Mark 4 Christ commands storms just like God does in this psalm. It is a clear demonstration of Jesus’ infinite power and Godhead. Not only does he command demons and disease, but the very essence of all creation. Jesus was more than a prophet. He didn’t just pray and ask God to still the storm, like when Elijah prayed that it wouldn’t rain and then it didn’t rain. Jesus spoke directly to the storms. He didn’t just pray for God to raise Lazarus from the dead, he called him from the grave with the very words of his own mouth. He has all authority. He is in control.

So many people believe that another person will be their salvation so they worship them, devoting their lives and happiness to someone who will ultimately fail them, whether it be a spouse, friend, pastor, entertainer, sports person, job or even their own talents and abilities… We worship the least capable things. While God desires for us to be in relationships and Gospel community He never intended those things to be our “safety net.” Not only are they incapable of saving us, we must also understand that it is impossible for us to be anyone else’s savior.

Do you think when the ship in this psalm landed safely they credited their survival to their skills as sailors? Did they themselves hush the storm? Do you think they took any credit at all for the outcome? No way! They cried out to the LORD (aka “prayed”) and He delivered them! They saw the mercy, glory and power of God in the relenting of the storm. Did God need to save them for the sake of his glory? Nope. But I love how Matt Chandler puts it, “God is infinitely powerful and deeply personal.” He actually does save us for the sake of His glory. He wants us to proclaim His glory among the nations. His infinite power and steadfast love is what makes him a personal savior. When we witness his infinite power within our own personal lives we take no credit for our own salvation. We cry out to the LORD and He delivers us. Our only reasonable response is to fall on our faces in worship. This psalm encourages us to “be glad… thank the LORD… and praise him in the assembly.”  No one else is worthy of our worship.

The one storm that never relented was the cup of God’s wrath toward sin, poured out to the last drop on Jesus at the cross. He took the crashing blows to rescue us from the ultimate shipwreck of hell and eternity apart from God, to bring us safely to the Father in heaven, then he rose from death to qualify us for adoption and prepare us for resurrection and eternal life.

Are you in a storm right now? Take heart! All storms have a beginning, middle and end. Even if you are suffering a relationship breakdown or chronic illness, and if God chooses not to fix it this side of heaven, know that his grace is sufficient for you and his power is made perfect in your weakness. And your last day here will be the end of your storm, then you’ll wake up in heaven, more alive than ever, having been brought by Jesus to your desired haven. In the meantime, continue to press into the Gospel and pray.

In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Paul encourages

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

 

Where has your life and christian walk become business as usual? Where are you squeezing control of your life and circumstances in a death grip? Have you drifted into self sufficiency even though you’ve previously seen the mighty works of God? Let this Psalm be a gospel lense you look through to see yourself and your savior more clearly. The best time to prepare for a storm is not in the middle of it but before it hits. You’ve never been able to save yourself. Root yourself deeply in the Gospel, know with assurance that God delights to be with you in the storm and ultimately see you through to the safe haven. In fact, Jesus is the safe haven.



PSALM 107 PART 4 – FOOLISH IDOLATRY & REDEMPTION JOY

Psalm 107
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In my last post I laid myself bare. The sin I fell in, the sin I walked in, the sin I reveled in. Because of these things I became a captive. Though I was a child of God I lived foolishly, according to my own selfish desires, until I ultimately reached a breaking point. Rock bottom as many put it. The thing I failed to see back then that I recognize now was what God was testing in my heart. Though I loved God and knew He loved me, the problem I had was ultimately a worship problem. Idolatry.

Psalm 107:17-22

Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy! 

When God led the Isrealites to Mt. Sinai in the wilderness to give them His law they were breaking the first commandment before it even came down written in stone. In their foolishness they begged for something to worship, then made an idol,a golden calf, and worshipped that while the living God himself was just up the hill.

In verse 19 of this psalm God delivers His people when they cry out, and verse 20 tells us the means by which He did so. He sent His word. It doesn’t say they obeyed his word, but that He sent it and that it healed them and delivered them. Wow. Powerful.

At that time in my life I ate and drank the word of God like a baby hungry for milk. I was spiritually sick and broken and it was my medicine. It was sweet to me and I couldn’t get enough. It was the living water of the word that began healing my self inflicted sin wounds, washing away guilt and shame, teaching me to worship in spirit and in truth.

God, in his divine irony, also brought me an unforeseen love. I wasn’t looking for it, but as I began spending more time with my best friend I got to know her brother even better. I had already known him for years and he’d seen the worst I had been through. We would all hang out and play board games on Saturday nights then meet at church on Sunday and have coffee after. My best friend’s brother was shy and good and humble. He loved the Lord and the word and his family. Tough on the outside but tenderhearted and funny. A big difference from the other “bad boys” I had dated. However, the enemy taunted me, how could a good Christian boy like that ever love a broken, used up, single mom like me? He was already a good friend and if something went wrong I could lose him and my best friend too.

He and I started having long email conversations throughout the week and then we would cautiously flirt on game night. I began praying and asking God if there was a possible relationship with him. The more I prayed the clearer it became. Not an exact directive from the Lord, I knew the choice would ultimately be mine, but I saw God showing me safe haven. That I could have a healthy, Godly relationship. Another chance. Grace to start new. And that if I chose it He would give me the desires of my heart.

One summer night he and I had a long, honest conversation. We found out we had both been praying about each other. We talked about what our future might look like if we started dating… Marriage… Probably… Family… Possibly if the Lord wills it… Life… Together… The very next day, my 21st birthday, he told me he loved me.

I didn’t know how to be the woman I should be but I knew I never wanted to be the prodigal I had been. It’s been 17 years since that night and we’ve never looked back. On our 6 month dating anniversary he proposed and a year and a half later, after he graduated from college, we got married. When we started dating he was a virgin, and only by the grace of God was he a virgin until our wedding night. He insisted that our love would be stronger without sex. It wasn’t that he didn’t “want to,” but rather that he knew he could love me without that and I think he knew I needed to learn how to love without that as well.

This is part of my redemption story. That God would give a woman like me a man like him. My husband so boldly demonstrated Gods love in my life by loving me when I didn’t deserve it. Loving me despite my broken places. He knew my past. He knew my baggage. He loved me anyways. He loved my daughter as well.

We can’t use other people to make us happy. We can try, but it is foolishness, selfishness and idolatry. We end up wrecking ourselves and others. God’s word says true love is giving our lives for one another, not taking as much as we can from each other to get our own needs met or feel happy. When we build each other up in the word we gain true Godly wisdom, selflessly serving each other instead of the self serving foolishness of trying to get our own comfort at each other’s expense. This applies in dating, marriage, with kids, with our parents and pastors and bosses too. It’s drinking deep of the word of God that heals us. Then in our gratefulness we share our joy, we can turn around and say, “My soul is well! How can I help your soul know the love of God today?”



Psalm 107 Part 3 – Captivity & the Shadow of Death

Psalm 107
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We continue with part 3 of our look at Psalm 107, The Captives. This is the hardest part of my testimony to share, it’s me at my worst, it’s the lies I believed and the sin I let myself have, but because of God’s work in my life through these things it gets Him the most Glory. Sometimes we think we are isolated in our struggles, but if you have struggled through any of these things please know that there is hope. The sins that we think disqualify us to be Christians are the very sins that Christ died for, covered with his own blood and then rose from the dead to set us captives free!

Psalm 107:10-16

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons, for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High. So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor; they fell down, with none to help. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.

To quote one of my favorite pastors, James MacDonald, “When God says don’t, He means don’t hurt yourself.” Who are these prisoners? Captives of consequence. Bound in chains to the circumstances brought on because they “rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High.” God never sent a consequence to his people that he did not first warn them about. Have you ever ignored good advice? Have you ever made up in your own mind that your way is the best way regardless of what anyone says? Have you ever let yourself be led off into sin because it was easier, more fun or more pleasurable than doing what is right? I have!

For example, when we were youngsters and our parents taught us not to touch a hot stove. The conversation in our mind might go something like this…

‘Mom says I will burn my hand but what does that actually mean? A burn can’t possibly be what she says it is. In fact I want to touch the stove because I think it will be good for me and she wouldn’t want to keep something good away from me. I think when mom says don’t touch the stove she’s trying to have all the fun herself. I just want to be like mom. She touches the stove every day and it doesn’t hurt her. If I just touch the stove my parents will see how good it is for me. They are wrong and I am right and now I must show them that… Waaaaaaaaaa! What is this PAIN???!!! It’s the end of the world! I’m going to die! I wish I had obeyed! I never would have felt this PAIN! Why didn’t they MAKE me obey? It’s their fault I’m in this pain. Life will never be the same again. Waaaaaaa!’

And here comes mom with the burn cream. Crying, heartbroken. Her precious little one is in PAIN. They did their best to keep the little one on the right path but some children must “learn the hard way.” Even though the child hurt themselves in disobedience the parents come to the child’s rescue, doing everything possible to aid in the healing and restoration of that child. In time the wound will heal but that burn will leave a scar. A reminder of a lesson in obedience, mercy and love.

God is no different. Many people think God is angry in the Old Testament and forgiving in the new, but the Bible reveals to us that He was a loving and merciful Father from before the foundation of the world. And in His love He warns us… In proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” It was that way from the beginning.

Consider Genesis 3:1-13

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Temptation. Deception. A liar from the beginning. Satan using Gods word in a twisted way to convince us that we can meet a spiritual need in a physical way. This indeed leads to death. And when sin doesn’t lead to the “freedom” we want we blame anyone and anything but ourselves.

 

My Captivity

Shortly after I gave my heart to Jesus I fell into sexual sin with the boy who had invited me to that concert I got saved at. (I share that in my previous post.) When I asked him, “Doesn’t God say this kind of stuff is wrong?” His answer was that we were in love and God would want us to feel good together. My raging hormones didn’t put up much of a fight. But after a couple of months I felt awful. Then I found out from another mutual friend that he had bragged about being with me. At that point in my very short Christian walk I didn’t know much about repentance but I knew I needed to end the relationship and get away from him. I asked my mom in January if she could start taking me to a local Calvary Chapel.

I was wary of high school boys so instead of going to youth group I sat in church with all the “grown ups.” I loved it! There was fun worship music and good bible teaching. My mom and my brother got saved right away. Over time my dad saw such a difference in our lives he eventually got saved too. He did continue to struggle with alcoholism for 10 more years, but finally surrendered to God. My parents story is a crazy amazing example of the grace and mercy of God. Click here to read their testimony, how my mom stayed with him, prayed for him, and now he’s been sober for 10 years and has served in Drug and Alcohol ministry and men’s ministry, helping others find freedom and God’s grace for daily living. It still blows me away.

In the meantime I met a friend who was into drugs. It started as innocent fun and I tried a bunch of different stuff with her, but to make a long story short my drug of choice was meth. I had God and church but no real close Christian friends so I just let myself be led away… I began living a double life. I was using drugs and smoking cigarettes, constantly angry at my dad for all the drinking and turmoil at home. But I still maintained the good church girl image… For a while.

I met another boy, a Christian boy. He confronted me about the drugs, said he came from a similar background, and he helped me get clean. Then we got involved sexually too. I would wrestle with God in prayer. Why can’t I just be good? Why do I keep messing up and giving in?

In Romans 7:15 Paul aptly describes this struggle,

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

I can’t exactly recall how but for some reason we thought it would be fun to have an 8ball for my birthday that year. (1/8 of an ounce or 3.5 grams of speed.) We decided we would use together just that one time and never again. And you can already tell where this is going.

It was my junior year of HS. I was 16 now. My boyfriend was a senior, 18. My parents didn’t like him but we were in love and it was serious. We fell into this terrible double life together. We would repent and be good for a while then we would slip, into drugs or bed or both. I was using meth as a weight loss aid, along with an eating disorder. I had terrible self image and struggled with my weight since I was about 12. On meth I didn’t eat. When the meth ran out I would eat and purge. After months of that the girl in the mirror looked skinny but I still felt fat And generally worthless. It was a slow suicide, but it was mine. I believed that my sin wasn’t hurting anyone else… Until I found out in February of 1994 that I was pregnant.

We got clean. I stopped throwing up. I started eating and sleeping again. I believe 100% that God in his providence used that pregnancy to save my life. If it weren’t for my daughter I would be dead.

One of the worst days of my life was the day I told my parents I was pregnant. My mom literally didn’t speak to me for three weeks. The next worst was when we told our pastor. My boyfriend had asked me to marry him. It was such an emotional roller coaster. My plans for college and my ideal future crumbled before my eyes. But the thought of being married and being a family made me feel so happy. We started going to the pre-marriage class through our church. My boyfriend was going to graduate and get a good job and save up some money so we could have a little wedding and get our own place. I couldn’t wait to get away from my parents.

You know the sound Velcro makes when you separate it? Little by little my boyfriend started pulling away. When our daughter was about 3 months old he tried to break up with me. I didn’t let him. I didn’t understand at the time but I was so co-dependent. I freaked out and kept showing up with our baby. I really wouldn’t take no for an answer. He stayed with me but we ended up getting back into the wrong crowd and using and partying again. We were horrible together but I was so afraid to lose him. I was still captive. I was still trying to make physical things fix my spiritual needs.

Shortly after our daughters first birthday I left him. He had made life miserable. He became so distant and apathetic. He had moved in with one of his friends that hated me. I never felt welcome there. He would go out and party but by then I was working full time and still living at home. I sought solace in the word of God and found myself falling more and more in love with Jesus and realizing how much fear of responsibility my boyfriend had. I knew that we just were not going to end up together.

I was ok for a while. I knew God had something better for me. But over the next three years I had several relationships. All them involved sexual or drug sin in one way or another. I was still in darkness and rebellion, in chains. Captive. Still trying to fill my emptiness with things that could not truly satisfy. I questioned if I was even saved.

In January of ’98 I finally surrendered. I was so broken and empty. I felt God calling to me, like He did to Adam and Eve in the garden, “Where are you?” I finally stopped hiding from God. Laid my heart bare before Him. I gave up on trying to make myself free and let God break those chains. I cried out to God, begging for His will in my life because I was making such a radical mess of everything myself. It got better. Little by little. I became free. The freedom was not in having the sin I wanted, but in finally letting it go.

I sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, a prisoner in affliction and in irons, for I had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High. So he bowed my heart down with hard labor; I fell down, with none to help. Then I cried to the LORD in my trouble, and he delivered me from distress. He brought me out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst my bonds apart. I thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.

Galatians 5:16-25 makes an important contrast.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

My walk with Jesus has been a slow trek. There is no way to rush Christian maturity and there is never an end to our sanctification process in this life. But God, in His great love and mercy, adopts us as His children and then teaches us, patiently, how to crawl, then stand, then walk, then fight, then fly. This is the definition of Sanctification. As we strive to keep in step with the Spirit we often stumble in the process but He never kicks us when we’re down. He uses us to help each other. We are blind to our own failings, we need each other. We need to let ourselves be humbled so that we can see how much He truly loves us and let Him bring the freedom we so desperately desire.

Next up in Psalm 107, The Prisoners and the next part of my testimony. How God redeemed the worst of me.

Thanks for reading.



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